Just because you're an ex-fashion model doesn't mean you can pick an outfit.
Exhibit A: Diane Kruger, who worked as a human clothes hanger in Paris before seducing Orlando Bloom in Troy. You may also remember her totally believable turn as a historian in National Treasure. (And if you doubt this girl was ever a model, check out the baby pony knees—definitely a sign.)
If anybody can get away with ripping up an old cheerleading uniform and pinning it back in place with licorice whips, it should be a girl who used to wear this crap for a living. And by "this crap," we mean the Versus frock that the 35-year-old beauty wore this week to a photocall for the Cannes Film Festival...
Some parts of this outfit are OK: The shoes, which we adore, are Jimmy Choo Katimas and the makeup is exactly as invisible as it should be, given how busy the dress is.
And yet, even a 5-foot-7-inch Teutonic stunner can't sell us on this look. The bodice on the dress looks too tight, even on a girl who obviously hasn't eaten any real licorice since the 80s. The pleats keep reminding us of nuns with rulers and not in a hot way. Also, given the pensive look on the actresses face, she seems to be remembering a few sad Catholic school days of her own.
One likely bright spot: We have no doubt that Diane's boyfriend, Joshua Jackson, likes those licorice whips just fine.