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MON, JANUARY 12
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    Joan Rivers' Mother's Day Advice: Seven Essential (and Humorous) Things to Remember

    Joan Rivers E! Networks

    Joan Rivers is both an iconic comedian and a Fashion Police star.

    But most important, she's also a mom to daughter Melissa.

    And this Mother's Day, we thought who better to offer up a few things to keep in mind as we prepare to celebrate the women who made us what we are today?

    So here now are seven essential things to know from Ms. Rivers herself.

    Read 'em, remember 'em and, of course, laugh at 'em. Mom would be proud.

    MORE: Are Joan Rivers and 50 Cent the Next Big Hollywood Couple?

    1. Don't shake them when they're young. They'll make you pay when you're old.

    2. When all else fails, remind your kids how tough your labor with them was.

    3. Always give them the freedom to make mistakes. And then never miss an opportunity to say "I told you so."

    4. If mother really was really right, we'd have no Kate Gosselin or Octomom.

    5. Sometimes you're their best friend, sometimes you're their enemy, but you'll always be their bank.

    6. The best gift you can ever give mom is just understanding that, right or wrong, she did her best. But also, a nice diamond heart wouldn't kill you, you ungrateful turd.

    7. And last of all, never forget: The good parts of you are from your mother and the bad parts are from your father.

    Need more words of wisdom?

    There will no doubt be plenty more where these came from when the E! True Hollywood Story: Joan & Melissa Rivers airs Sunday night at 10:30.

    PHOTOS: Hot Mamas and Their Cute Chicks

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