We Yanks may not all bow down to royalty, but many of us do worship cupcakes. Which makes this set of DC Royal Dozen Cupcakes a welcome addition to royal wedding mania. Your choice of Lava Fudge, Red Velvet & Vanilla Birthday.
If you're sick of the royal wedding (we're looking at you, comments section), we've got a must heave have for you: The Royal Sick Bag. Because no one needs to know that you've "throne up."
Top Trumps is releasing a limited-edition set of Royal Wedding trading cards, available via QVC and QVC.com. Part of the set is already done—but avid collectors will need patience; the rest will be created on the wedding day.
Bazooka candy has created this ring pop version of the royal engagement bauble. Don't try to eat the little sparkles, though; those are Swarovski crystals.
The most famous romance of the decade has been memorialized in panels and ink in this new Bluewater comic.
Forget the famous stiff upper lip of the English, this Viagra-laced brew is aiming for a whole nother area of the body. While Viagra is an over-the-counter medication in Britain, this cheeky brewer is making it available over the counter of your local pub as well. Ask your doctor if Royal Virility Performance Beer is right for you.
Tired of all the exploitation? Want an official royal wedding item? We've got you covered, literally, with the just released cover of Will and Kate's official souvenir program. It's pretty, we know, but the best news of all is the price: the full program can be downloaded for free here, within 24 hours of the April 29 nuptials.
The royal wedding pizza is hot. Or at least it will be after you heat up this masterpiece (masterpizza?) created by Papa John's. Sadly, this crusty cameo portrait will not be commercially available, but one lucky nuptial nut in the U.K. with be awarded this princely pie. Tasty!
This hand-crafted, one-of-a-kind set is being auctioned off to benefit the Starlight Children's Foundation.
If you think royals are hot, or if you'd just like to dunk them in scalding water, we've found the perfect wedding keepsake for you. Kate and Wills greeting card with teabags. It's a cup of alright.
With Kate's mug miraculously turning up on a jelly bean, the prince's bride is clearly becoming something of a folk hero. The tiny candy likeness is reportedly coming up on an eBay auction soon. Sweet.
No, this is not a joke. Yes, it really has that photo of Kate and Will. Yes, really, it's being offered by General Electric. At least, reportedly so. As of press time, the company had not supplied a price for this kitchen wonder.
It's a souvenir only Homer Simpson could love: A tribute donut created in honor of Will and Kate's big day, courtesy of Dunkin' Donuts. This particular snack is filled with jelly and topped with vanilla and chocolate icing and will be available from April 24 until April 29.
Keep track of all the key players with this Royal Wedding set of Topps Trading Cards, available at QVC.
For a while there, the House of Windsor did not want to authorize an official bar wipe for this wedding. But in England, commemorative tea towels are a tradition stretching back to the Queen's own wedding in 1947. Now the towel celebrating Kate and Will has its own nickname: The Royal Dry-ness.
The Royal Mint has produced this official wedding coin in a variety of metals and corresponding prices. But if you really want to show your love for Will and Kate, and you have about $8900, consider splurging on the platinum version. There are only 200 out there, mate. And you'll have Will and Kate's faces on a fancy piece o' quid.
The Franklin Mint has introduced this 16-inch doll version of Kate Middleton. It has a "soft vinyl body," and no detail has gone unnoticed, including, the Mint tells us, "the pre-wedding glow" in Kate's eyes. All for a mere $195. It sounds like a lot. But then again, the Mint is quick to point out, the doll's wig is handmade.
Show your coworkers just how much you love the royal family with this snappy mouse pad. Or just put the mouse right over Will's face and look at Kate all day. We won't judge. There's also a unicorn on the mouse pad, in case you have a little girl in your office.
Hoist a pint to your favorite king-and-queen to be, and keep your gaff clean, with this here handy glass coaster, mates. Put your pint down, and Wills disappears. Pick your pint up, and, fancy that! There's Will again! It's like magic for your beer.
Presumably, this set of paper dolls will allow you to see Kate and Wills in their (imagined) skivvies, but no guarantees. Either way, you can dress up your favorite royal couple in any variety of outfits that nobody else can afford.
Aw, wook at the widdle mugs that are all cuddly wuddly just like the weal Will and Kate. Sooooo cute! It's almost like those widdle mugs are hugging. Or maybe they're actually trying to...cor blimey! Let's move on.
You can bet that the house of Windsor is not amused by these celebratory condoms. But with an irresistible slogan ("Lie Back and Think of England") you can bet these rubbers will be flying off the shelves, whether the Queen approves or not.
We're not sure if this is a Christmas ornament, a sachet, bait, a rearview mirror accent, or what, but it's from the official purveyor of royal wedding gewgaws, so we shall show it no disrespect. For the record, it is kind of pretty. Whatever it is.
Set in silver and bedecked in mock sapphires and a substance called "Diamonesse," this Danbury Mint bauble is a dead ringer for the stone that William presented to Kate as an engagement gift. So, for a mere $87, you can buy this replica and pretend you're engaged to Wills yourself. As long as you refrain from calling yourself Mrs. Windsor, you can still count yourself as sane.