Chris Weeks/WireImageDear Ted:
Looks like Halle Berry and Olivier Martinez are engaged! You gotta tell me, are there any Vices with this duo?
—Lyn
Dear Here Comes to Blind:
Of course there are, L! Well, really just the one: Halle's! But don't be too disappointed ‘cause H-babe has a surprisingly juicy Vice. Hmm, wonder if the future groom is in on the secret yet or whether it'll be a post-I Do shocker. Here's hoping the former.
Dear Ted:
I'm a returning fan after many years. For us newbies, can you define what might constitute a Blind Vice? Drugs, alcohol, same-sex, cheating, anything else?
—Clauby
Dear Welcome Back:
Basically, Claub, Vices can be anything a star doesn't want you to know about…and celebs these days are willing to go way out of their way to make sure those nasty little secrets stay under wraps. Drugs and closet cases are big ones, but just plain old kinky sex or totally diva ‘tudes can earn Vices too.
Dear Ted:
So which of your closeted Vice's beards is most likely to reach levels of fame in her own right? And do you think she might move on to an actual relationship if that happens?
—Mike
Dear Fake It Till You Make It:
It's not just no-name chickies that play the beard game. Look at Shafterella Shoshstein, she was an A-list lady who was slumming it in tabloid oblivion until she linked up with a very good-looking and very in-the-closet gay guy. And to answer your next Q, good old Shafty left her loyal fakey BF in the lurch when she found an eligible, straight dude.
Dear Ted:
Thanks for answering my previous Gossip Girl question and I also think that Leighton Meester has the best chances to make it big. But I noticed you didn't mention Ed Westwick? Does he not have potential? Or are his Vices to blame for any derailment? And as for Chace Crawford—I would love to know his Vice! Since it's not that obvious…a clue?
—G.G. Fan....Again
Dear Boys About Town:
Ed hasn't really stirred up much attention outside G.G. fans. Sure, he scored a part in the Romeo and Juliet revamp starring Hailee Steinfeld, but I just don't see him becoming the next It dude, and it has nothing to do with his Vices. As for Chase? Well, his onscreen alter ego has never had to keep this naughty secret, I'll say that much.
Dear Ted:
Do any current Major League Baseball players have a Blind Vice moniker?
—SS
Dear Batter Up:
Alex Rodriguez would probably be your best guess, huh? Or Derek Jeter maybe? But actually neither of these dudes have earned monikers. Surprising, actually, since the gals they link up with so often are definitely Vice stars.
Dear Ted:
Which Blind Vicer has received the most kudos from movie critics?
—Sweet and Sassy
Dear Tough Question...
Considering lots of the Blind Vicers are big movie stars. But Cruella St. Shackles popped into mind, though more for her old stuff. Fey Oiled-Tush always gets some lovin' from critics too. Any par-tick Vicer's reviews you were wondering about, Sass?