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Grammys Preshow—The Whole Big Long Thing!

Paul McCartney Kevin Winter/Getty Images

An evil plot for world domination! A punchline worthy of a late comic great! And the cute, if underdressed, Beatle!

Ah, memories of the Grammys preshow, where most of the awards were actually handed out. Like 100 of them, and we're not kidding.

We Twittered the whole big long deal. Here's what went down:

• Grammys overload in press room right now. I can see preshow on TVs and hear the rehearsals for the main show on speakers. about 5 hours ago from web

• Quick logistics: I'm at Staples Center. That's where main Grammy show goes down tonight. Preshow's at L.A. Convention Center. about 5 hours ago from web

Wayne Brady singing at Convention Center; Neil Diamond practicing at Staples. Almost too much music. about 5 hours ago from web

• Have I mentioned the lovely Tia Carrere? She's hosting preshow, bantering with Wayne Brady, and apparently huge in Hawaii. about 5 hours ago from web

• By the way, awards-show banter sounds much wittier with the sound off! about 5 hours ago from web

• And the first award goes to...Juno (for a category that won't possibly fit in a tweet). Only one million more to go! about 5 hours ago from web

• Just counted: Grammys in 100 categories will be presented in preshow. Hope Wayne and Tia are getting paid by the intro. about 5 hours ago from web

• Whoa. Lot of empty seats in last shot from preshow. You'd think people don't want to sit through 100 awards or something. about 5 hours ago from web

• Just sprung for the headsets, so I don't miss a syllable of Best Engineered Album, Non-Classical acceptance speech. about 5 hours ago from web

• The nonclassical engineering guy, by the way, had a beard to make ZZ Top collectively jealous. about 5 hours ago from web

• And Gwyneth Paltrow goes down! Taken out in spoken-word kids album by a guy who's not even married to someone from Coldplay. about 4 hours ago from web

Juno director Jason Reitman backstage now with his Grammy: "I plan on living off Juno for the rest of my life." about 4 hours ago from web

• A dignified British gent: "We're not Metallica. We designed the package for their latest album." Reporters: "Ohhh!" about 4 hours ago from web

• Dignified British gent now explaining meaning of coffin on Metallica cover. Whaddya mean it's about death?!? about 4 hours ago from web

George Carlin wins for Best Comedy Album. George Carlin's daughter accepts. And you know what? She's funny, too. about 4 hours ago from web

• Carlin's daughter notes her late mother is with her late father, "[but she] won't say [they're] up there." about 4 hours ago from web

• Backstage right now, the all-new Barney: They Might Be Giants. about 4 hours ago from web

• "It's a great farm system for adult fans to get them when they're 3," TMBG's John Linnell jokes of the band's kiddie career. about 4 hours ago from web

• As part of its evil plan for world domination, TMBG wins the Grammy for Best Musical Album for Children. about 4 hours ago from web

• Only 54 more Grammys to go before they hand out more Grammys! about 4 hours ago from web

• So Kelly Carlin-McCall, what would your dad say if he were here? "F--k you." about 4 hours ago from web

• George Carlin's daughter is actually quite touched by her father's Grammy win. She cried onstage. about 4 hours ago from web

• Dude, the Small Ensemble Performance winners are partying like it's 1799. Crazy. about 3 hours ago from web

• Ladies and gentleman, Grammys prehost Tia Carrere is now Grammy winner Tia Carrere (Best Hawaiian Music Album). about 3 hours ago from web

• No offense to Tia, but Carrie Underwood is the first A-lister to win a Grammy—and pick it up in person. about 3 hours ago from web

• A-listers, aside from Underwood, don't do the preshow, which lets Blair Underwood, now presenting, do a lot of accepting, too. about 3 hours ago from web

Lil Wayne wins in absentia! (For Best Rap Performance.) about 3 hours ago from web

• The danger of not doing the preshow is that if you don't win during the main show, too, then it feels like you kinda lost. about 3 hours ago from web

Adele blows out Duffy, Leona Lewis, Katy Perry, Pink and Sara Bareilles for Female Pop Vocal Grammy—and doesn't show. about 2 hours ago from web

• I'm not judging, Adele, Lil Wayne, Kanye West and all the other MIAs; I'm just warning. Hope the red carpet's giving you love. about 2 hours ago from web

• If you see John Mayer doing the carpet, tell him he just won a Grammy, too. (For Solo Rock Vocal.) about 2 hours ago from web

Dweezil Zappa happy, crying, overcome for Grammy win for instrumental album dedicated to dad Frank. about 2 hours ago from web

• It's over! The preshow's over! Tia and Wayne direct everybody to fill up on fluids and make their way to Staples Center. about 2 hours ago from web

• Quick count: I've got Lil Wayne winning three preshow Grammys, including one as his regular Dwayne Carter self. about 2 hours ago from web

• Whoa. Just looked up from laptop and, voilà, Paul McCartney's standing at the front of the room. about 2 hours ago from web

• As far as I can tell, McCartney hasn't won anything (yet) tonight. I guess he just likes talking to reporters. Weird. about 2 hours ago from web

• McCartney's performing on the prime-time show later tonight. Which is why he got all dressed up (jeans and a T-shirt). about 2 hours ago from web

• Oops. I think I just made fun of my favorite Beatle. about 2 hours ago from web

• Tonight's Grammy picture will be sparkling clean. Just got a bird's-eye view of a camera guy wiping the camera lens. about 2 hours ago from web

• What you miss if you miss the preshow press conferencess: Futureman holding court on the "drumitar." about 2 hours ago from web

• Well, let's see if this holds up, but Chris Brown is still down as a performer on the show order just handed out back here. about 1 hour ago from web

• Time to sign off from here. For backstage reports from the main Grammys show, check out E! Online. about 1 hour ago from web

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