John Legend Sings Downton Abbey Theme Song With New Lyrics—and They're What You've Been Thinking All Along

Thanks to the Grammy winner, the iconic instrumental now has some comical narration

By Samantha Schnurr Mar 08, 2016 1:19 PMTags

We were thinking it—but John Legend sang it. 

After six seasons, Downton Abbey curtsied its way off the small screen with quite the tumultuous storyline in its history. Now, thanks to the musical powers of the multi-Grammy winner, the show's iconic instrumental theme song now chronicles all of the series' unforgettable characters with a new set of lyrics. 

During Monday night's episode of Jimmy Kimmel Live!, late-night host Jimmy Kimmel introduced a tuxedo-clad Legend, who was sitting at a piano to perform the new rendition for the first time. From the opening line, it was clear the song wasn't going to sugar coat anything

"Everyone we know is very white," the song begun. "We don't have one black friend." 

Carnival Films/Masterpiece

Then the lyrics took aim at individual characters, beginning with the show's matriarch. 

"Grandmama is always such a witch. She needs to get laid." Legend said it, not us!

Later, the focus shifted to a favored British pastime—and one we wish we were enjoying right now. 

"It is time for tea and then a nap. I want a scone right now." Same, John, same. 

Finally, the melody reached a triumphant climax while targeting Her Ladyship, Edith Pelham. 

"Edith is such a loser. Why won't she just die? Why? Why?"

A bit harsh, don't you think?

Thanks to this catchy new tune and Legend's velvety voice, the legacy of Abbey's drama will live on forever on Jimmy Kimmel Live!.  

Watch: "Downton Abbey" Finale Leaving Fans in Tears?