It's finally happened: All of the women of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills actually made valid points. Well, almost all of them. Still, the ladies were all speaking their minds (and said some hilarious things along the way) and articulating issues they perceived to be at hand, and no, we're not in the Twilight Zone. Let's break it down.
"I don't think I've done 45 minutes straddling anything. Well, not since 1984," she said. Zing! Meanwhile, it was her birthday and she didn't want to make a big deal out of it. She also got a new dog named Schnookie and the dog may or may not look like Ken Todd. By the way, did you know she also has a wine bar in her gorgeous house? She does.
Anyway, while eating really spicy and onion-filled guacamole and discussing Eileen Davidson's past soap opera shower hookup, things got heated. Yolanda Hadid overheard LVP and Kyle discussing Lisa Rinna and Yo saying Rinna is bipolar.
"I could potentially call her bipolar, but I would never do that because it's not my place to do so," Yolanda said. But she did just kind of say that. And then Kyle called her out. Kyle was right, by saying you're not saying it, it is the same thing as putting it out there. Yoland also brought up LVP and all the Lyme disease talk about Yo's kids. Nothing will ever be resolved on this show. Yolanda also made vague threats about having a lot of dirt up in her vault. But she said it wasn't a threat. It was.
After the lunch, Yolanda sent the following email (this is what the cast members read out loud, no clue if it's all of the email) to Kyle and CCed EVERY SINGLE CAST MEMBER.
"I'm coming out of a three year ordeal of living in a mentally-paralyzed cocoon due to an infection in my brain called neuroborreliosis. I arrived with a great attitude yesterday and proud of myself for making it out of bed and joining you girls. For you to come down on me so hard is beyond my understanding and it left me quite confused. I'm just trying to catch up and participate. I don't need your pity, but I do ask you kindly to respect my situation. Your lack of compassion is not a pretty look."
So why did she email everybody? For drama of course. This was a masterful dramatic stroke to get everybody on the same page.
Later in the episode, Kathryn Edwards and Erika Girardi ate cinnamon rolls and worked out with some hot trainers. In an attempt to get to know Erika better, Kathryn started asking the singer some questions. Erika opened up about her grandma (and cried six tears, apparently) and then started talking about how LVP is really a side sniper and gets involved in all the drama, but makes it so everything goes her way. "It just seems there's this current or tone moving things to her advantage," Erika said. What does Kathryn do with this information? Oh, she goes over to LVP's for a birthday dinner and tells everybody everything. That's not how you be somebody's first genuine female friend, Kathryn! That is how you stir the drama pot though.
This new info prompted Eileen to get all up in arms about her encounter with LVP in the Hamptons and how she felt LVP never really apologized for that whole question-probing deal. Yadda, yadda, yadda, they still couldn't see eye to eye about it and LVP felt attacked, Eileen just wanted to be heard and Kyle had the best reactions. "Oh my gosh, Eileen, you've got balls," Kyle said in her confessional.
So, everybody said their piece. And that created more pieces.
Now for miscellaneous things said in this episode:
"I have to stay relevant. It's part of my job. I shamelessly stay relevant. Of course, honey. I've got bills to pay," Rinna said.
"Harry likes p---y. Period," Rinna also said when talking about her previous strap-on dildo use. "This mouth has gotten me in so much trouble and i also have made a giant amount of money from this mouth, getting me in trouble."
"When that town drunk…" LVP on Brandi Glanville.
"I don't make s—t," Erika said regarding cooking
"There are cool girls everywhere and there are bitches everywhere," Erika, regarding the ladies?
The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills airs Tuesdays, 9 p.m. on Bravo.
(E! and Bravo are both part of the NBCUniversal family.)