Scott Dudelson/Getty ImagesBeth Stelling is ready to open up about a past relationship and it's no laughing matter.
While fans may be used to seeing the stand-up comedian crack jokes about her life in and around Los Angeles, many haven't heard her story about surviving an abusive relationship until now.
"When I broke up with my ex this summer, it wasn't because I didn't love him, it was because of this," she shared in a lengthy Instagram post. "And I absolutely relapsed and contacted him with things I shouldn't have, but there are no ‘best practices' with this."
She continued, "It's embarrassing. I feel stupid. After being verbally, physically abused and raped, I dated him for two more months. It's not simple."
As to why she kept it a secret so long, the Comedy Central star has a reason. According to Stelling, her ex asked if she could "consider me when you talk about your ex because everyone knows who you're talking about."
She abided and continued to write vague jokes because she "didn't want to hurt him, start a war, press charges, be interrogated or harassed by him or his friends and family."
"I wanted to move on and forget because I didn't understand. I don't want revenge or to hurt him now, but it's unhealthy to keep this inside because my stand-up is pulled directly from my life," she continued. "It's how I make my living. My personal is my professional. That is how I've always been; I make dark, funny. So now I'm allowing this to be part of my story."
While the caption cuts off abruptly, you can read the whole text below.
Same girl in all of these photos (me). I've had an amazing year and you've seen the highlights here, so these photos are an uncommon thing to share but not an uncommon issue. You may be weirded out but do read on. I have a point. There are many reasons not to make an abusive relationship public, mostly fear. Scared of what people will think, scared it makes me look weak or unprofessional.
When I broke up with my ex this summer, it wasn't because I didn't love him, it was because of this. And I absolutely relapsed and contacted him with things I shouldn't have, but there are no "best practices" with this. When friends or comics ask why we broke up it's not easy or comfortable to reply; it doesn't seem like the appropriate thing to say at a stand-up show, a party or a wedding. It's embarrassing. I feel stupid. After being verbally, physically abused and raped, I dated him for two more months. It's not simple.
After I broke up with him he said, "You're very open and honest in your stand-up, and I just ask that you consider me when you talk about your ex because everyone knows who you're talking about." And I abided. I wrote vague jokes because we both live in L.A. and I didn't want to hurt him, start a war, press charges, be interrogated or harassed by him or his friends and family. I wanted to move on and forget because I didn't understand. I don't want revenge or to hurt him now, but it's unhealthy to keep this inside because my stand-up is pulled directly from my life. It's how I make my living. My personal is my professional. That is how I've always been; I make dark, funny.
So now I'm allowing this to be part of my story. It's not my only story, so please don't let it be. If you live in L.A., you've already started to hear my jokes about this and I ask you to have the courage to listen and accept it because I'm trying. Already since talking about this onstage, many women have come to me after shows asking me to keep doing it. Men have shown their solidarity.
An ex-girlfriend of this ex-boyfriend came to me and shared that she experienced the same fate. Then there was another and another (men and women) who shared other injustices at his hand that..
Since sharing her personal story, Stelling has received plenty of support from fans, family and strangers. Even close friend and Silicon Valley star Kumail Nanjiani shared his support online.
As for her love life today, the Simply the Beth star is in a happy relationship with a man who treats her right.
"And just to be clear, there are wonderful men in this world. @sammorril was a friend to me getting out of my last relationship, he listened, made me laugh, comforted me. He encouraged me as I toured the world, respected me and my work, and he stuck by me when I made it really difficult to want to," Stelling shared in a separate post. "He is a good partner and I love the man."
For more information on domestic abuse or to get help for yourself or someone you love, visit the website for The National Domestic Violence Hotline or call 1-800-799-7233