James Fisher / Twentieth Century FoxForget Australia; they really should call it Cattle Drive by Botox! (And if my friggin' E! lawyers have anything to say about that one, I swear I'll slug ‘em with a club as big as Nicole Kidman's implacable forehead, 'cause it surely looks like that gal's had something weirder than her ex-husband's couch-jumping habits done to it. Thing does not move. One bit!)
Which, of course, is why we told you right before the holidays how Australia's editors had to finesse, postproduction, my fave Aussie hon's facial moves. To give her some, that is—"new technology," those film experts were calling it. Which is just a more fancyass way of saying magazines aren't the only ones who airbrush these days.
Why the hell didn't they just get Cate Blanchett for the epic Aussie story, already? Babe's face still can pull off a contortion or two, plus, when the lead gal's character gets all horny for Hugh Jackman‘s overly buff bod, it won't look like Jackman's going for some kind of catatonic schoolmarm, which it so does with Kidman. But hey, was Jackman getting some others all horned up, too, while making the big Baz Luhrmann flick?
Uh, yeah…
"[Jackman's] trailer was definitely the one most bumping in the night," sassed a Deep Throat, Australia-style. "And the day, for that matter." No kidding? How 'bout Nic's, we asked. How was the motion factor on her cushy wheels? "Nothing," insisted our film insider; "all the action was over in Hugh's trailer."
Hmm. Wonder who with? That gorgeous wife of his, Deborra-Lee Furness? She's certainly sexy enough, even though she's, like, about 200 years older than Hugh-love. But actually, a high-level People editor is more like it, as there's got to be some kinda price for nabbing that "Most Sexy" title Mr. J. just received, right? Note to E!'s legal team: This is, again, an attempt at humor. However...we wonder if Ms. Furness is laughing uproariously?