How Can I Meet Joel Madden—or Anyone Famous?

Stars don't want to meet you, but if you insist, here's a secret

I was wondering, how do regular, boring people find and meet celebrities?
—Anon

I'll let you in on a dirty secret in a second. But first, please reconsider. Stars don't want to meet fans. They may thank you—from the safe distance of a magazine interview—but when they stop to sign autographs outside of a movie premiere, they're not that into you.

"Celebrities have people and systems to make sure they don't meet normal people," power publicist Howard Bragman says. "And when they do go to restaurants and out in public, their antennae are up for people wanting to get too close and too familiar."

Still intent on rolling up on a star? Fine. On with the best-kept open secret in Hollywood...

Every reporter in town subscribes to a tip sheet called the Hollywood News Calendar. And for a mere $100 a month, so can you. Locations and confirmed attendees of film premieres, media junkets, grand openings, all that fun crap—updated constantly.

Like...hmmm. Let's leaf through these molten-hot pages...Joel Madden. Will be at the Hollywood Palladium. As a celebrity DJ celebrating the Breeders Cup Winner's Circle. That's on Thursday. Go and have a good time getting past the velvet rope.

Or just take some advice from Bragman: "Stick with the homecoming queen."

Amen to that.

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