This season of Dancing With the Stars has been all over the place, don't ya think?
Cloris continues, Lance is down-then-up-then-down, feet and ankles are dropping like flies and we still don't know what the heck the West Coast swing is! (Other than an improvisational partner dance believed to be derived from the Lindy Hop.)
Find out if Tuesday's elimination ensured that the most skilled celebs made their way into week six, or once again proved that America is entirely out of sync with the judges.
All My Children fans held fast, but they didn't speak for all of us.
The promising Toni Braxton was eliminated from Dancing With the Stars tonight, a day after a so-so West Coast swing that had the judges hoping that her "breakthrough performance" was coming soon.
Instead, the star with the second-lowest number of votes, Susan Lucci, hustled just enough to make it another week. Her score may have been the same as Braxton's (22), but as far as we're concerned, the soap star is even harder to watch than Cloris Leachman—who at least, on a good night, makes you feel proud of the 82-year-old grandma.
"My heart is much better, so my goal is definitely reached," Braxton, who came into this competition with a recent diagnosis of microvascular angina, said. "I still have to build up to performing for an hour and a half, so this has been really good for me."
"We had fun, and I'm sad it's over now, but she had a great time on this show, and I'm really proud of her," added partner Alec Mazo.
Killing one form of suspense early on, the baffling Leachman was ushered away to safety early on in the episode, leaving us to wonder which less-deserving (well, not that much less-deserving) star would be getting the boot.
And we're not sure whether this is good news for anyone involved, but the Oscar- and Emmy-winning film and sitcom star has stayed on long enough to be in the group hip-hop number next week.
Also saved early was Warren Sapp, whose hustle last night was tons o' fun, so he got to sit back and enjoy a jive and a paso doble featuring those cutie-patootie junior dancers, as well as a performance by the heavily pomaded Brian Setzer Orchestra.
Then, at last, DWTS got down to business again, sending, in no particular order, Cody Linley (who had little cause for worry considering his jitterbug was tonight's encore), Maurice Greene, Brooke Burke and Lance Bass to safety.
So, how do you like them apples? Sorry to see Toni go so soon? Are you still loving Lucci? Does Cloris just kill you? Do share!