20th Century Fox
20th Century Fox
Did you hear the fantastic news?! Someone very sexy and very important will be starring in Independence Day 2, the sequel to the only movie that mattered in the '90s.
And if you think we are talking about Liam Hemsworth, step aside. This article may not be for you.
We're talking about Jeff Goldblum, who you may remember from your surprise sexual awakening at whatever age you were when you saw Independence Day for the first time. If you have ever lusted after David Levinson the computer genius/cable repairman, then this ode is for you.
Perhaps you went with your friends to see the 1996 classic, and they were all about Will Smith. And why wouldn't they be?! He's extremely hot. He's a pilot in the movie. He's all muscle-y and snarky.
Or there were probably those in your group of friends who were all up in Bill Pullman's swag. We totally get it. He's Captain Lone Starr, who is right behind Han Solo and Peter Quill as the hottest outlaw in the Universe, right?
But if you were anything like us, the moment you sat up in your theater seat and really started paying attention is when Jeff Goldblum appeared, playing chess and looking like a plaid-swaddled sex beast.
Those glasses. That rumpled hair. That smirk. And he loved to recycle! Hello, future husband.
Oh, and then he saved the entire Earth in a totally probable and not at all ridiculous way.
He wasn't the hero we needed, but he was the hero we deserved. And by "hero," we mean "ovaries annihilator." It's fitting that the White House blew up in the most spectacular way, because that's how our lady parts felt during this movie, especially in the end when he was showing off his deliciousness via a wife-beater, drinking and technical talk.
So from the chess match in the beginning until the end of the movie where he walked the cocky walk of a badass mother trucker (in a flight suit, of course!):
We were basically like this the entire time:
And we salute everyone else who can relate to our lusting.
And Mr. Goldblum has only gotten better with time, so welcome back to our Independence Day wet dreams, sir.
Yes, we know this GIF is from Jurassic Park but you can't talk about Jeff Goldblum and not include it. Sorry.