First up, we're talking balls here.
And not just balls—Tom Brady's balls. Or his possibly not-quite-inflated-enough balls, which the New England Patriots have been accused of using on purpose in their AFC Championship game against the Indianapolis Colts last weekend.
Brady told reporters at a press conference that he "did not alter" his balls, nor would he ever knowingly break NFL rules.
"When I pick those footballs out, at that point, to me, they're perfect," he said. "I don't want anyone touching the balls after that. I don't want anyone rubbing them, putting any air in them, taking any air out. To me, those balls are perfect and that's what I expect when I show up on the field."
The superstar quarterback also said, referring to the controversy in general, "This isn't ISIS."
But before we suck all the air out of the room ourselves, here are 19 tweets that really tell you all you need to know about the sports controversy that instantly blew up and became...Deflategate.
I have no idea what Deflate Gate is but I really like how it rhymes. More rhyming scandals please!— Tim Stack (@EWTimStack) January 22, 2015
I think that was the first time Tom Brady looked nervous & uncomfortable. Then again, who wants to go on national TV to discuss their balls?— ???? ?????? (@PJcassette) January 22, 2015
Best part to come out of #DeflateGate? My 2-year-old keeps saying BALLS. Because of my laughter provoking more, it's also the worst part.— Adam Kaufman (@AdamMKaufman) January 22, 2015
This could also be an acceptance speech for best director at the Adult film awards #DeflateGate— Lizz Winstead (@lizzwinstead) January 22, 2015
?Tom, are you wearing Uggs right now?? That is what I want answered at this #DeflateGate conference.— Lauren Landry (@laurlandry) January 22, 2015
"I wish people would stop talking about my balls and instead focus on my beautiful face" -- Tom Brady— Jimmy Kimmel (@jimmykimmel) January 22, 2015
50 college-educated adults are asking a man if he let air out of a ball.— Jimmy Kimmel (@jimmykimmel) January 22, 2015
Even if Tom Brady sat on every one of those balls himself, this press conference is punishment enough— Jimmy Kimmel (@jimmykimmel) January 22, 2015
Al Bello/Getty Images
#deflategate is exciting but it gives me a legitimate reason to tweet about balls a lot. We can talk about any balls right?— Ambassador to BOFA (@NuclearWynter) January 22, 2015
The main thing we've learned from this deflategate saga is people will talk about anything for hours if it gets them out of pro bowl talk— Tom Lynch (@TomLynchMusic) January 22, 2015
Wish NFL fans showed this much uproar over PEDs, HGH, DUIs and domestic violence. #DeflateGate— Evan Salveson (@evansalveson) January 22, 2015
And then here's this, just for fun: