We like to ogle celebrities online or in the pages of our favorite tabloids (We're E! We love it, too), yet somehow we thought Newsweek was above the fray, as a newsmagazine that covers the truly important issues. (Reality check: We do get that Lindsay Lohan's rehab stint isn't really news to the rest of the world.) But we're guessing there must have been a big meeting covering things like "newsstand sales" and "luring in younger readers" that resulted in the current cover featuring Paris Hilton and Britney Spears. In response, we'd just like to say, shame on you, Newsweek! Get your own cover girls. Those are our bitches.