—Dianne, Albuquerque, New Mexico
The B!tch Replies: In very rare cases, a celebreality show can bring a forgotten entertainer back into the spotlight. And to these forsaken zombies, that's even more valuable than money.
Shortly after winning the first season of America's Next Top Model, Adrianne Curry was shunted to a modeling agency that booked her on so many overseas gigs Americans all but forgot that soulless stare of hers. Her career was pretty much dead.
Then came The Surreal Life, in which Curry threw herself at Christopher Knight, the plucky middle Brady son, and suddenly, people—okay, at least very bored or very stoned people—took a fresh interest in her.
The result? Not one but two seasons of VH1 television documenting the pair as they prepped for their pseudo-goth TV wedding in the glamorous prison town of Joliet, Illinois. (They probably didn't make the reported $20,000 per episode the Osbournes earned for their first season on MTV. But knowing that you've married the cute Brady? Priceless.)
We also mustn't forget Flavor Flav, he of the Jupiter-size clock necklaces and the Viking hats and the parade of fine-ass bitches backing their thangs up. While The Surreal Life gave Curry a temporary boost, that same show gave Flav a whole new franchise.
First came the spinoff Strange Love, in which Flav loved, and lost, Brigitte Nielsen, the world's tallest shorty. Then the ex-member of Public Enemy moved on to Flavor of Love, in which young ladies with excruciating hair weaves tore out one another's color contacts for the chance to be the mother of Flav's seventh child.
Other stars have also pinned comeback hopes on celebreality shows.
"When [Survivor's] Jerri Manthey did Surreal Life, she did it on purpose," Manthey's manager, Marrissa O'Leary, tells this B!tch. "It was a way to rehab her image. Everyone thinks Jerri was this superbitch, but that was just the character she played on Survivor.
"Actually she is as down to earth and sane as you can be. As a veteran of reality TV, we figured she would know how to handle cameras being in her face without screwing up, and she did great."
Even the cheesiest of these shows, Dancing with the Stars, has delivered a comeback: for Saved by the Bell alum Mario Lopez.
Money can also be a factor in signing up for a weird reality experience. Insiders tell this B!tch that Surreal Life-type shows can pay a Janice Dickinson or an Omarosa anywhere from $3,000 to $20,000 per episode. And that doesn't include cash prizes or whatever sequined gimcracks they're giving away on Dancing with the Stars.
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