If you're a wee bit hungover after a night of partying, have a Bloody Mary at brunch the next day and you'll be fine. If you drank your body weight in vodka because you were taking a shot every time someone on your Instagram feed used the hashtag #BLESSED and you are in danger of dying in the next hour or so, you need this Bloody Mary.
Yes, that is an entire fried chicken sticking out of the Bloody Mary they are serving over at Sobelman's Pub-n-Grill in Milwaukee. Look at it. Look! Look deep into its fried battered soul. Take it all in. That's America right there in tomato juice form.
The "Chicken Fried Bloody Beast" is a $50 monstrosity of a beverage, although it's just barely a beverage in our opinion. It comes with all the traditional Bloody Mary garnishes, which at Sobelman's equals this:
• Brussel sprout
• Cherry tomato
• Green Onion
And then they slap on something called "Baconadoes," which are apparently bacon-wrapped jalapeño cheese balls, and then finally, the pièce de résistance:
A. Deep. Fried. Whole. Chicken. Just stuck in the drink casually as if it was a cheeseburger slider garnish (which is actually what Sobelman's usually uses in their "normal" Bloody Marys).
All artery-clogging, defibrillator, 'Merica jokes aside, we have to applaud the "Chicken Fried Bloody Beast," because it's actually for a good cause. For every one Sobelman's sells for the rest of 2014, $5 will be donated to Milwaukee's Hunger Task Force organization.
So when you punish your body with one of these things, at least you know you're doing it for charity.