Close
BRAND NEW ON E!
E! Loves - Category Header 920x60

News/ 

This Is Absolutely, Without a Doubt the Worst Nightclub Promotional Video Ever

Bounce by the Ounce is, according to its Twitter bio, "the freshest dance event in Preston." It's happening in September, and to raise awareness about this so-called freshness, the organizers made a video promo.

It's terrible.

If you want the exact opposite of all the things you're looking for in a happening night at a dance club, look no further than this video. 

Here's why you will never, ever want to set foot into this party, just based on the video promoting it:

1. First of all, why is everyone dressed like it's currently the early to mid-'90s?

Bounce by the Ounce GIFs YouTube

Or is this how people dress when they go dancing? We don't know. We're lame. We turn down for everything.

2. Scary props.

Bounce by the Ounce GIFs YouTube

Also known as "forced props." You're not having actual fun unless there is something phallic-shaped in your hand.

3. Sweaty dude-bros.

Bounce by the Ounce GIFs YouTube

They got canned heat in their heels tonight, baby! Also, major pitters.

WATCH: This is the most insane save the date wedding video ever

4. Your mom will be there.

Bounce by the Ounce GIFs YouTube

That is almost definitely somebody's mother.

5. Also, this girl will be there.

Bounce by the Ounce GIFs YouTube

She'll be dancing. Staring. Staring and dancing. And you will react exactly like the dude next to her did.

6. And this guy. He'll be there, too.

Bounce by the Ounce GIFs YouTube

No.

7. The girls dance in a threatening way.

Bounce by the Ounce GIFs YouTube
Bounce by the Ounce GIFs YouTube

See?

WATCH: Jennifer Lawrence and Justin Bieber's creepy plastic surgery clones made a music video and it's horrifying

8. And guess what? Your dad is there, too.

Bounce by the Ounce GIFs YouTube

Looking thirsty, Pop.

9. You never know when a guy will pop up with a red balloon.

Bounce by the Ounce GIFs YouTube

"Where is the red balloon guy? Does anyone have eyes on him?!"

10. Need more reasons? How about this?

Bounce by the Ounce GIFs YouTube

11. This.

Bounce by the Ounce GIFs YouTube

12. And this.

Bounce by the Ounce GIFs YouTube

OH GOD NOT THAT GIRL AGAIN.

Bounce by the Ounce GIFs YouTube

That is enough

So now you see why you will never want to be near Bounce by the Ounce. And if that doesn't convince you…

Bounce by the Ounce GIFs YouTube

That is what the harsh light of day brings after a night of debauchery at his particular club night.

Bounce by the Ounce GIFs YouTube

That sounds like a threat.

PHOTOS: Help erase the memory of that commercial by looking at these hot guys of advertising

RELATED VIDEOS:

FROM AROUND THE WEB
MORE ON EONLINE
Most Read
Bruce Jenner, Kris Jenner