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18 Jokes Only Harry Potter Fans Will Understand

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson, Rupert Grint Courtesy of Warner Bros. Pictures

We're not going to insult the intelligence of Harry Potter fans by alerting any of you that J.K. Rowling (through Rita Skeeter) has written a short story to update us on what the big three have been up to since the end of Deathly Hallows. You know about it. You've read it. You've re-read it. You've talked with your friends about it. You've written fan fiction about it. Basically, you're all over it.

We are here to merely celebrate the return of Harry Potter, Hermione Granger and Ron Weasley with some punny inside jokes that only we wizards and witches will get. Muggles need not enter or even pretend to understand. (Spoilers, obviously):

1. The secret horcrux:

Harry Potter Jokes

The sword of Gryffindor can't handle that.

2. Gotta get down on:

Harry Potter Jokes

You had one job, Bellatrix!

3. Broom puns:

Harry Potter Jokes

C'mon. The movie is ripe with these.

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4. The flaw in the plan:

Harry Potter Jokes

J.K. usually covers her plot holes, but we've all thought about this one.

5. Quidditch hottie:

Harry Potter Jokes

Best wizard-to-wizard pickup line ever.

6. Bond, please:

Harry Potter Jokes

You're name has nothing on Dumbledore.

7. Got your nose:

Harry Potter Jokes

Not cool, proffesor:

8. Caffeine spell:

Harry Potter Jokes

Talk about your instant coffee, right?!

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9. Seriously:

Harry Potter Jokes

And don't call him Shirley. That was a Harry Potter-Airplane joke, you guys!

10. Draco the complainer:

Harry Potter Jokes

What hasn't your father heard about?

11. Mean Hogwarts:

Voldermort is basically Regina George.

12. Hipster Voldermort:

Harry Potter Jokes

Technically, that's true.

13. How I Met Lily:

Harry Potter Jokes

Definitely could have saved pages and pages of backstory.

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14. Noah's a liar:

Harry Potter Jokes

It couldn't possibly have been every day, right Mr. Dursley?

15. The Slytherin House pickup:

Harry Potter Jokes

There is a dirty snake joke in there, too. We're not going to make it.

16. She's a survivor:

Harry Potter Jokes

This could have been Hermione's theme song. Or the Destiny's Child one.

17. Yo mamma:

Harry Potter Jokes

Harry probably could have just killed Voldermort with his words.

18. Junk mail:

Harry Potter Jokes

Do you think they're all just chain letters that threaten you with terrible things if you don't forward it on to at least seven people?

We missed you, world of Harry Potter. And we will jump all over any new information like Ron Weasley jumps on any and all food at any time, so please keep it coming!

Until the next update:

Dumbledore GIF

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