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    Colbert Downed by Left Wrist Conspiracy

    My, how the high and mighty have fallen.

    The Colbert Report's Stephen Colbert proved during Thursday's broadcast that bringing the truthiness can be a dangerous gig, revealing a broken wrist he suffered while "jacking up the crowd" before the previous night's show.

    The pseudo conservative pundit broke the news to the Colbert Nation during the open of the show. He sat at his desk with an oversized foam "#1" finger on his left hand. After vainly attempting to carry on as usual, Colbert whipped off his fashion accessory to reveal his cast.

    "I didn't want to draw attention to it, that's not my style. I didn't want to play on your sympathy," he said, clutching his wrist and writhing in mock pain.

    The newly limp-wristed commentator also did his best to put a stop to any conspiracy theories that no doubt would—and probably still will—arise from his injury.

    "I've been talking for almost a minute, by now there must be a bunch of rumors swirling around the Internets about how I broke this thing," he said. "To be honest, I'm not entirely sure how it happened."

    Dismissing the most obvious sources of injury—namely, that he may have suffered the break while thwarting a gay civil union or by issuing an overly enthusiastic "Wag of the Finger" to IHOP—Colbert eventually revealed the more likely cause.

    "My director Jimmy is suggesting that I might have broken my wrist last night before the show," Colbert said. "I have a pre-broadcast ritual, I get myself and the audience all pumped up by running around the studio to a little Beyoncé."

    Colbert then cued footage of his preshow run around the studio to the strains of "Ring the Alarm"—the same song the Grammy winner was performing during her onstage tumble earlier this week. In the footage, Colbert takes a victory lap around his desk before losing his footing and falling backwards off screen.

    "Yeah, that could have been it," he said after the video cut out. "That could have been it. I'm not entirely sure."

    To make sure, Colbert replayed the footage, this time with his "mike turned up." At the moment of his fall, Colbert exclaims à la Beyoncé: "Oh, please, no one post this on YouTube!"Too late.

    His final assessment of the tumble: "Yeah, on review that might have been it."

    Colbert managed to drag his broken body to the White House on Friday, where he sat in on a press briefing by presidential spokesman Tony Snow.

    Colbert sat himself in the front row and managed to get called on by Snow after waving the damaged arm to ask a question.

    Afterward, Snow and Colbert kibbitzed for the cameras, with the latter promising to auction off the cast for a military charity.

     

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