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The FBI's Twitter Slang Glossary Is Hilariously Out of Touch—Can You Decipher These Acronyms?

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When you peruse the FBI's glossary of Internet slang, or "Twitter Shorthand" as the manual is titled, you might LOL ("laughing out loud"). Or maybe you'll LMAO ("laughing my a** off"). Or BLOL ("big laugh out loud"), BL ("belly laughing"), C&G ("chuckle and grin"), BAGL ("bust a gut laughing") or FOMCL ("falling off my chair laughing"). 

Because this thing is INSANE ("insane"). The memo explains, "With the advent of Twitter and other social media venues, the use of shorthand and acronyms has exploded. The [Directorate of Intelligence's] Intelligence Research Support Unit (IRSU) has put together an extensive—but far from exhaustive—list of shorthand and acronyms used on Twitter and other social media venues such as instant messages, Facebook, and MySpace."

(They're lying about the exhaustive part. This manual passes exhausting on page 10 of 83.)

With over 2,800 entries—ranging from common acronyms, like ASL (age sex location) and BRB (be right back), to BFF, which might be "best friends forever" but also might be "big fat friend"?—the Bureau says it should be "useful in your work or for keeping up with your children and/or grandchildren."

(Again, it probably won't be that useful in either situation because no one uses this "slang.")

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Test your FBI slang knowledge and see if you can guess what these acronyms mean:

1. ::POOF::
2. AL
3. ANFAWFOS
4. AYFKMWTS
5. AYSOS
6. BAS
7. BFP
8. BTDTGTTSAWIO
9. BTWITIAILWU
10. DITYID
11. EOTWAWKI
12. FMDIDGAD
13. GNSTDLTBBB
14. HCDAJFU
15. ICBINB
16. IITYWIMWYBMAD
17. JAPAN
18. NIFOC
19. PMYMHMMFSWGAD
20. WAPCE

A brief GIF break to honor our favorite FBI agent (and so you don't cheat)...

Miss Congeniality GIF

The answers:

1. goodbye - leaving the room
2. alcohol
3. and now for a word from our sponsor
4. are you f****** kidding me with this s***?
5. are you stupid or something?
6. big a** smile
7. bad for pictures/big fat positive (ie pregnant)
8. been there, done that, got the T-shirt and wore it out
9. by the way, I think I'm in love with you
10. did I tell you I'm depressed?
11. end of the world as we know it
12. frankly my dear, I don't give a damn
13. good night, sleep tight, don't let the bed bugs bite
14. he could do a job for us")
15. I can't believe it's not butter
16. if I tell you what it means will you buy me a drink?
17. just always pray at night
18. naked in front of computer
19. pardon me, you must have mistaken me for someone who gives a damn
20. women are pure concentrated evil

How'd you do? If you got 0/20, congrats! You're using the Internet like a human being.

The FBI "shorthand" manual was published by open-records website MuckRock, which submitted a Freedom of Information Act request. You can read the nearly 3,000 entries in their entirety.

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