Happy Valentine's Day! We hope you have a Valentine today, even if your Valentine is yourself! And we hope that you get a little bow chica wow wow tonight...if you know what we mean.
(We hope you know what we mean, because absolutely nothing about that was subtle.)
Even if you have to get a little bow chica wow wow from yourself. And to help put the chica in your bow chica wow wow, Words With Friends and Zynga surveyed over 11,000 players of the Scrabble-like game to ask what the most awkward sexy words are.
To test the sexy to awkward ratio of these words, we have paired each with the sexiest GIF we could find online. From least to most awkward, here are the results. Do not use any of these in your dirty talk:
5. "Stroke" [verb. \ˈstrōk\ 1. to rub gently in one direction]
Verdict: Well, ya know, "stroke" isn't too bad. We wouldn't mind if The Notebook had featured a little more stroking...if you know what we mean. And again, we hope you do because not subtle. At all.
4. "Loins" [noun. \ˈlȯin\ 1. the area of a person's body that includes the sexual organs 2. the part of a human being or quadruped on each side of the spinal column between the hipbone and the false ribs]
Verdict: So very...technical. We wish we knew how to quit you, the word "loins."
2/3 (tie). "Throb" [verb. \ˈthräb\ 1. to pulsate or pound with abnormal force or rapidity]
Verdict: Well, Fitz once told Olivia that he "couldn't control his erection around her," which may not only be the most awkard thing ever said on TV, but the most awkward thing ever said by a human ever, fictional or not. In comparison, "throb" isn't that bad. But it's still not great.
2/3 (tie). "Aroused" [verb. \ə-ˈrau̇z- ed\1. to rouse or stimulate]
Verdict: Almost seeing Zac Efron's butt does have us feeling a certain way, but we would not use that particular word to describe it. Because that would be awkward.
And the most awkward sex word is...
1. "Thrust" [verb. \ˈthrəst\ 1. to push or drive with force]
Verdict: Uh, yeah. Awkward. Not even James Franco could save this one.