The glam gal graces the cover of the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue and hit the launch party on Wednesday at the Pacific Design Center to shake her gorgeous-again booty in celebration. Along with countless numbers of half-naked Sport Illustrated models (and drooling modelizers lined up to meet them all), B. was doin’ her perky press thang, despite being “sooo tired.”
“I did a video with Shakira until 7 in the morning,“ she moaned, delirious beneath gonzo hoop earrings, loose-falling curls ‘n’ natural lip gloss—total do-me material. “I did seven videos in a week and a half!”
The busy babe had also just come from a taping with Jay Leno, and it was a wonder her weave hadn’t fallen flat from the hectic hoopla thus far.
Cliff Watts/Sports Illustrated
As for gracin’ the cover of the stiffy-sporty mag, Beyoncé proudly proclaimed, “I was honored. I was the first musician to be on the cover.”
And seems Miz Knowles didn’t have to crash diet to get cover-ready, either: “It was a little intimidating, in the beginning,” she said. “The thing about Sports Illustrated is that they have real women in there, with real curves, so I didn’t feel the pressure of having to starve myself.”
Well, thank gawd someone doesn’t here in the City of Fallen Figures! (We’ll just forget about that little stick-figure biz she pulled in Dreamgirls, ‘kay?)
Though, gotta say, Miz Bee did humor me by sharing a fantastically de-lish flashback of her most awful bikini malfunction evuh—which, ‘course, I just had to ferret out, right?
“It was when I was in middle school,” she confessed. “I was at camp, and we were on this ride...My bottoms just came out underneath the water. Thank God no one saw! It was my own malfunction!”
Oh, darling, lucky thing some maniacal paparazzi outfit wasn’t around back then, they’d have had an underwater camera shot on that fine bum of yours in no time flat.
Former AI winner Taylor Hicks (whom my intrepid intern, Liza Yorks, fondly—and strangely—refers to as Spicy Meatball) said, “Paula is Paula. What you see is what you get.”
Hmmm, so what you’re really saying is she’s just naturally high on life?
On the other coldhearted hand, another Idol bunny seems to think that Paula—who recently stated that she has “never been drunk” in her life—is just an easy target.
“She’s one of the sweetest people I’ve ever met,” said Grammy-winnin’ gal Carrie Underwood, who got to prove that AI really can make dreams come true, as long as you’re blond and Texan. “I feel bad when people slam her. She’s just kinda happy-go-lucky, and she really doesn’t care what people think.”
Both former Idols said they never had any odd encounters with Paula off-camera, either.
But then, what did I expect from two peeps who partially owe their careers to the gal? Not like they’re gonna go biting the hand that fed them, no matter how batty it may be.
Now, if we had Jen Hudson gabbin’ on Simon Cowell, that’d be a diff story altogether, promise.