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What’s up Diane Keaton’s butt, besides the seam of her über-high pants? Why’s Mandy Moore so shy about her new whatever with DJ AM? And why is the Mummy 3 close to kicking the can for good?
Sigh. It's that time of year again...chick flick time! With the heart-palpitating (and piercing) mini-marathon of St. Valentine's Day ‘round the corner, we’re gearing up for enough corny romantic comedies to last till next year...and beyond. Oh, let’s make the best of it, shall we, my mischievous little malcontents?
Diane Keaton

Lisa O'Connor/ZUMApress.com

On Tuesday night, apparently one of the season's schmaltziest entries, Because I Said So, premiered in H'wood. The flick’s quirky cast all showed up and did their red carpeted best to push said product. Perky pluggers included Diane Keaton, Mandy Moore, Piper Perabo and Stephen Collins. Howev, Ms. K. only wanted to cooperate by posing for pics mostly, and I guess if you get to be that broad’s age—and you’ve got an Oscar at home—you can do as you please.

Mandy Moore

Steve Granitz/Wireimage.com

By the by, Di-doll was sportin’ a questionable pair of "mom" jeans (ya know, the pants so high up the waist they make us want to erase the term MILF from our memories?). A stunning Mandy took her time down the carpet and was clearly playing the role of unofficial do hostess, thanks to her costar’s reluctance. And more winning, too, was M2’s outfit, which consisted of a vintage fuchsia dress and ditto jewelry, as well. Nice look. Cool, yet elegant enough for a stiff T-town carpet.

Now, M.-babe stopped to say hello, but the curvy broad clammed up and turned a similar shade of pink as her dress when I asked about her hoo-ha with DJ AM. Didn't they just get back from Sundance, where they were spotted playing pucker-pit-stop all over town? Hmmm.

Suddenly, Ms. Em was most certainly not the hostess with the mostest, as she (prolly wisely) demurred the query. Damn.

Stephen Collins

Lisa O'Connor/ZUMApress.com

Stephen Collins was all smiles ‘n’ full of saccharine-coated things to say about former 7th Heaven costar Jessica Biel. "She's right on target!" S.C. responded, when I asked about Jess-doll’s deliverance from all things cable-esque, what with her starring role in The Illusionist with Edward Norton.

"I think she's one terrific role away from being a total star," he added, which is way too much sweetness for this bitch, so let’s move on to what more besmirched types are doing with themselves these days:

Star Jones

Star Jones Reynolds, seemingly reformed. Yes, you read right. The former freebie-mongering femme hit Nikki Beach in Miami on Saturday. I’m told by Desk Eff-Hell-Ay that Star was with a gal-pal and was "very nice, although she wouldn’t discuss anything personal." Shocking, no? Also hear that Star’s put on a few pounds since her View days, for the bitchy record. But then, I have, too, so don’t say I don’t report what comes around or however the hell one says it. Shakin’ it, regardless how it jiggled, at the same chic spot, was...

Chris Noth

Stephen Gendre/Visual/ZumaPress.com

Chris Noth, aka Mr. Big from Sex and the City, seemingly in character. He was "very flirty" with the gaggle of gals, as he usually is when he hits up sandy South Beach, according to my sunny spies. Well, whatev. Will Mr. En ever remove himself from bachelorhood like he did onscreen? Retiring from entirely diff pursuits altogether, elsewhere, was...

Tiki Barber

Nancy Kaszerman/ZUMApress.com

Tiki Barber, bidding adieu to his football glory days. The Gotham mag-sponsored fete honoring Tiki was held at Capitale in New Yawk, where more than 2,000 peeps packed the house. All guests received a free rubber-chicken din-din. Fellow chewers included an eclectic mix of VIPs such as brother Ronde Barber, Eli Manning, Jon Bon Jovi and Shepard Smith. Best of luck in your broadcast career, bro! Now, don’t pull a Katie and get all diva-doll on us, ‘kay?

Brendan Fraser

Universal Studios

Remember those fun Mummy movies with Brendan Fraser and Rachel Weisz? The first installment was happening, the second one not so much, but both made some pretty big bank. Enough so that Universal was hopin’ to squeeze a third flick out of the franchise.

‘Course, there’s been talk of this Egyptian redo stuff for some time. First, it was reported early last year that both Brendan and Rach wouldn’t reprise their roles. Then there were mouthings in September that B.F. had signed back on. And now I’m hearing there are more back-'n'-forth machinations regarding the mummified redo attempts.

Rachel Weisz

Nancy Kaszerman/ZUMApress.com

According to inside busybody beetles on the project, both stars are on the verge of walking off from discussions...but for different reasons. The Oscar-winning Rach is reportedly less than thrilled with the script.

"It’s basically a very bad repeat of the first two films but without the charm or wit," say loose-lipped insiders unafraid of big-studio voodoo curses for blabbers.

And I’m told Brendan—on the other cash-siphoning hand—wants a bigger paycheck and more back-end profits than Universal is willing to offer.

Alec Baldwin

Mark Von Holden/WireImage.com

I don’t know why Alec Baldwin and the Tom Clancy movie franchise is coming to mind right about now, do you?

Regardless, according to Brendan and Rachel’s PR folks, my sources are incorrect, as these reppers claim no sequel discussions are currently in the works, so there’s simply no moolah or corny dialogue to even comment on—all contrary to what my Mummy folk are sassing on about. Gosh, contrary sides to a story in T-town, how unusual! 

Oh, and if there is a Sahara's grain of truth to B.F.'s fat-ass pay-ola request, shouldn’t it be Weisz getting the green, as she's gotten way more critical acclaim than Brendan-babe as of late?

Oh, forgot. She’s a woman. She’s just the subplot to Brendan’s penis-plot, which always drives these big remakes. So sorry. Forgot there for a sec. Forgive me, please.