People: This is why we can't have nice things (like fast food).
A woman in Whitefield, Greater Manchester tried to ride her horse through the drive-thru at McDonald's (the company that tried, and failed, to take Jennifer Aniston down via a Big Mac) and was promptly refused service.
So instead, she brought her horse inside the restaurant, where it pooped on the floor.
"The staff refused to serve the women due to company policy," Whitefield police explained on their Facebook page. "The women then took the horse into the restaurant who ended up doing his business on the floor."
The statement continued, "The sight and smell of this caused obvious distress and upset to customers trying to eat, as well as staff members. Officers arrived at the location and woman was issued a Fixed Penalty notice for causing alarm & distress to other customers and staff."
McDonald's also released a statement (via BBC), confirming the incident and saying, "The health and safety of our customers and staff is our top priority and for this reason we are unable to serve pedestrians, bicycle riders or customers on horseback through the drive-thru."
As a counterpoint, Gawker unearthed a video of a man (the "Long Rider") successfully riding a horse through the drive thru at 4:00 a.m. in Morriston, Wales. (But otherwise, it really is true. They will not serve you if you try to walk through. Not even if you're in a car formation.)
There is one amendment of adorableness to note: The woman on the horse who pooped in a Mickey D's was accompanied by a girl on a pony, who waited outside during the ordeal. So that's pretty cute.
Well. What is there even to say anymore? All humanity is lost. Fast food has become complete anarchy.