Socks (Milday Socks, if ya nasty), a moonwalking Shetland pony who struck fame after appearing in an ad for broadband provider Three, has found himself in the center of a paternity scandal.
Below, Socks' claim to fame:
As with all of the greatest paternity tests throughout history, we're going to handle this Maury-style. Which means, first, we have to talk with the baby mama (but since ponies can't talk, we'll let owner Mari Williamson speak for her).
"I put him with three ladies in a field with a loch," Williamson told Scotsman.com of her playa pony. "But he is a very good swimmer and unfortunately he took a shine to another one of my mares—who I had put in a group with my other stallion Nuggett."
The mare in question is named Kimberley (check out Kimmy's glamour shots here) and last month she birthed a colt named Scamp. But who's the father: ladies' man Socks or that punk Nuggett?
"He just fancied her more and thought the grass is always greener on the other side," Mari continues of Socks and Kimberley's star-crossed romance. "Socks swam across—and with his three ladies in tow—and now we don't know for sure who is Scamp's real father."
[Editor's note: #ballin!!!]
Hair samples from Socks, Kimberley and Scamp will determine whether Scamp is the first baby Socks has fathered since striking it rich. Or if Kimberley is a gold-diggin' mare who just wants some child support.
Well, at least we already know what his "You are not the father!" dance would be:
"I told you! That ain't my baby!"
"He ain't got my eyes! Those ain't my eyes! Toldja!"
And if it is his kid, well, baby ponies are friggin' adorable!
Especially if they sleep with a teddy bear, like this one:
We'd raise this one as if it were our own. No quesions asked, Kim.