SWISH-SWASH: The Musketeer scoring a hit at the box office--sort of. The latest stab at the oft-told classic tale opened as the number one movie, but took in just $10.3 million at 2,438 theaters, according to final studio figures Monday.

OFF THE WALL! Dozens of celebrities turning up for an all-star salute to Michael Jackson, as his 30th anniversary celebration kicked off Friday night at New York's Madison Square Garden. Among the performers were Britney Spears, 'N Sync, Destiny's Child and Marc Anthony. A second show is scheduled for Monday night.

NOW, THE BAD NEWS: Two former financial advisers filing a $25 million lawsuit against the King of Pop, claiming they were never paid for their accounting and investment advice, the New York Post reports. Jackson's camp says the lawsuit is frivolous.

MARTINIZED! Actor Steve Martin turning a press conference into a 40-minute comedy routine on Sunday while promoting his new film, Novocaine at the 26th annual Toronto International Film Festival. "I don't like to work with unpleasant people," he told reporters. "That's why I never want to work with myself."

ROSIE SMACKDOWN: Talk-show queen Rosie O'Donnell being sued by former members of her security staff, who claim she spied on them and illegally recorded their conversations.

ROSIE ADD: Meanwhile, Rosie brushing off a National Enquirer cover story claiming she had secretly gotten married. "You don't know how depressing it is to not get invited to your own wedding," she joked on her show Monday.

A TIME FOR HEROICS: Matthew McConaughey rushing to the aid of a woman who collapsed Friday night during a screening of Thirteen Conversations About One Thing at the Toronto Film Festival. The woman had apparently suffered some type of seizure.

EXCESS BAGGAGE: A preliminary report released over the weekend confirming that the plane that crashed and killed singer Aaliyah and eight others was overloaded and out of balance. There was also no sign of mechanical difficulties.

FINAL FOOTAGE: Syndicated TV news magazine Extra planning to air amateur video footage tonight of Aaliyah, performing aboard a yacht in the Bahamas for her music video, just hours before her tragic plane crash.

SLAVE 4 VIEWERS: MTV's 2001 Video Music Awards telecast scoring the second largest audience ever for the raucous awards fest. Thursday's show averaged 10.8 million viewers, up 9 percent from last year, but down 10 percent from 1999's all-time high (11.9 million).

CORPORATE TAKEOVER: A federal appeals court in Washington, D.C., suggesting it will permit networks to own even more TV stations and cable outlets than currently allowed by law. The move, which has been criticized by consumer groups, would give networks and their corporate parents unprecedented control over both programming and distribution.

CEREALIZED! Breakfast giant Kellogg's announcing plans to launch two cereal brands tied to Fox's The Simpsons, Homer's Cinnamon Donut Cereal and Bart Simpson Peanut Butter Chocolate Crunch.

EXPOSING HIMSELF: James Woods signing on for a starring role in the film adaptation of David McClintock's book Indecent Exposure, according to the Hollywood Reporter. The book is an account of the David Begelman check-forging scandal that occurred inside Columbia Pictures in the 1970s.

BACK ON THE BEACH: The New York Post reporting that Pamela Anderson will don her famous red bathing suit one more time to help promote the launch of Baywatch on TNN, which kicks off with a marathon on September 24.

SING-ALONG: A four-day Buddy Holly symposium in Lubbock, Texas, ending with a record-breaking singalong to the 1950s rock legend's hit, "Peggy Sue." Nearly 49,000 people attending the Texas Tech-New Mexico football game sang the song at halftime Saturday night.

COURT DATE: A Rhode Island judge scheduling a September 17 trial date for original Survivor winner Richard Hatch, who's accused of roughing up a former boyfriend when he showed up at Hatch's house.

SIR PAUL, THE POET: Former Beatle Paul McCartney treating audiences to some of his new poems at the 21st Poetry Olympics in London October 4.

FOR THE KIDS: Howie D of the Backstreet Boys spending time Sunday with patients and doctors at Boston's Children's Hospital to help raise awareness about lupus. The singer founded the Dorough Lupus Foundation after his sister died from the disease.

CODA: Joan Rivers' dog, Spike, has died at his home in New York of heart failure. He was 17. That's 119 in dog years.