Just call him: Anderson Cooper the Enforcer.
On his soon-to-be-canceled gabfest Anderson Live, the CNN anchor related to his guest cohost Marlon Wayons a funny, but to him seriously disturbing, tale about a woman who had the moxie to put a banana peel in his neighborhood mailbox and his sudden decision to call her out on it.
"There was a lady putting a used banana peel into a mailbox on my street, and for some reason, I don't know why, it so bothered me I did something I've never done before," Cooper recalled. "I stopped dead and I started yelling at her. This is my mailbox, by the way."
Acting like the model citizen his fans imagine him to be, CNN's top banana took forceful action, not only upbraiding her for her laziness but physically restraining her from mailing off said peel.
"I pick up the banana peel, I pick up her hand and I turn it around; I open up her palm. I put the banana peel back in her palm. I don't know when I became this guy," said Cooper. "I put it back in her palm and I said, 'Go walk across the street. Put it in the garbage can.' And her daughters were there. Then I was like, 'Who am I?'"
"Of course the fact that she was two feet shorter than me and much weaker enabled me to feel empowered to do this," he added.
The story was so good Wayans couldn't resist offering up a pretty good recreation of the encounter and comparing the Silver Fox to a certain superhero (minus the super part).
"You're like Superman if he never turned into Superman. You are just like Clark Kent, you are just like that white guy," joked the funnyman. "Hey, hey, hey, come here. We will not have that. You pick up your garbage right now or I'll make a citizen's arrest."
For his part, Cooper appreciated the impersonation.
"You know what's sad? You actually do my white person walk very well. That's basically how I walk down the street. I'm so lame," quipped Anderson.
No doubt his fans disagree.