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    Morning Piss: Angelina Jolie—Deceitful, Wannabe Publicist

    Angelina Jolie Jean-Paul Aussenard/Getty Images, Sipa via AP Images

    It’s no wonder Angelina Jolie does her own PR—she’s a genius at it! Knowing full well what short memories the public has and how gullible they are, Ms. J., former lesbyterian and blood-vial wearer, is now peddling her apparent heterosexual domesticity (and then some) to such softball outlets as Parade and W.

    Could it be she has a movie out? Oh, yes, she does! Changeling, and obviously she’s bitter about not being nominated last year for A Mighty Heart, so she’s making sure her puss gets out there for this flick—but only with safe media institutions. Nothing edgy or provocative, which is apparently an adjective held on reserve for Brad Pitt’s nookie partner only, and by her design, always.

    Would a sit-down with a rebellious interviewer have been so difficult? Oh, wait, there are none in this country anymore; who am I kidding? I just can’t wait for all of Jolie’s currently slobbering fans to get the earth-mother wool pulled over their eyes and watch, gasping, whichever AJ chooses for her next chameleonic existence.

    I vote for ditching Brad already (which she’s so eventually going to do, poor thing) and moving to Harlem, next door to Bill Clinton’s office, with her latest sex slave, Queen Latifah. They can open up a homeless shelter for bisexual, lesbian and transgender mothers with free public-relations services!

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