Jaap Buitendijk / Universal PicturesOf course, what’s good for the goosed is good for the philanderer, right? Yesterday’s Piss was all about poor, depressed Jennifer Aniston, so troubled and unable to move on with the man sitch in her life. I mean, one inappropriate dude after another, which is great for sowing your sleazy oats right after a divorce, but babes, at some point, you just gotta move on.
Unless you don’t want to and you just like the attention it provides? Ah, that’s another Morning Piss, this one's about the woman who enabled Brad Pitt to so treat his wife like dog poop—Angelina Jolie. And there she’ll be expected, Saturday in New York, for the premiere of her big-hat movie, The Changeling. And I just wanna say what a brilliant PR job this woman’s pulled on this country.
Note: You all do know Jolie has no publicist, don’t you? Why would the bitch need one with the crafty merde she pulls right ‘n’ left? Like, right after hooking up with Jen’s ex, she decides to adopt and populate the world and also gets the hell out of Bush-ville, in a brilliant double-whammy to show the planet how not only globally minded and benevolent she is but fertile and Earth mama, as well!
Far cry from blood vials and borrowing other women’s men, huh? Now I haven’t exactly had the cleanest record, either, when it comes to sleeping around, but then again, I’m not superbusy trying to spin my existence as something it isn’t. See, Aniston’s celeb faux pas are a friggin’ zero the size of Nicole Richie’s waist by comparison to Jolie’s press-release reinvention—my opinion, nothing more.
When is Brad going to wake up? Probably just as soon as he stops having those orgasms he (literally) goes on—and on—to his friends about.