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Blind Vice! Cash-Strapped Caesar Rewrites History!

by Ted Casablanca Fri., Apr. 27, 2012 9:40 AM PDT

Caesar Anchovy-Arse has always been known for being a fairly talented man. But what the world doesn't know about him really does remain his best (unknown) achievement: Preventing the world from learning just how poorly he's treated his partner, Strippa Rip-Ya.

But Caesar's latest shenanigans really do trump all his past debauched behavior, and that's saying something:

READ: Blind Vice: Match Made in Hot Star Heaven!

Because fooling around or getting high is nothing compared to actually hurting your woman and then claiming you were helping her along in her career path...which is exactly what Caesar's latest line is all about.

"He's claiming he made her," says a pal to the put-upon couple, regarding Strippa's professional success (which, admittedly, has been quite mixed). "Can you believe that?" asks the friend, rhetorically.

The famous couple's pal is shocked mostly because Caesar's form of supporting his wife in the past has usually consisted of verbally abusing her. Or worse. He's been an unacceptable husband, in every sense of the word.

But now, Mr. Anchovy-Arse is claiming otherwise, just so he can be assured of spending Strippa's paychecks—for now, and forever.