If you buy those headlines, then Happy April Fool's Day! You've been had!
E! News has a roundup of some of yesterday's most notable pranks involving showbiz personalities, starting with the Monster actress' supposed S&M fetish.
Theron joined forces with FunnyOrDie to parody celebrities whose cell phones have been hacked by "leaking" a video in which she jokingly records herself in her boudoir berating her very own gimps while two people dressed in carnival masks and robes straight out of Eyes Wide Shut look on.
"Move over, Paris and Kim. 'Cause I'm into some real kinky s—t," the thesp warns.
The music then changes from a dark, foreboding ceremonial incantation to Q Lazarus' "Goodbye Horses," serial killer Buffalo Bill's favorite song in the Silence of the Lambs.
"Time for the bleeding. Now you will sit on that tarp and look pretty for me," she commands them.
There are also "hacked" videos of Charlize practicing her Oscar acceptance speech, talking in her sleep and making duck faces.
Getting in on the April Fool's fun as well was O'Brien, who teamed up with Mashable.com to announce shortly after midnight on Sunday that he had bought the social media news blog for a grand total of $3,500.
"I go to Mashable, I see the atrocious job they're doing. So I decided it's time for me to take it over," revealed the late-night host in a YouTube video posted on Mashable.com.
Tongue firmly planted in cheek, he then claimed to have called CEO Pete Cashmore and yelled at him, "You're out! Get out!"
Conan's mug ended up gracing Mashables' Twitter icon, and his video announcement was posted on the website for the day.
Last but not least, hip-hop impresario Russell Simmons couldn't resist getting in on the budding Current TV-Keith Olbermann feud by issuing a fake press release announcing the outspoken newsman was joining his entertainment site, GlobalGrind.com.
Alas, what wasn't a joke was Olbermann getting fired from his perch at Current TV on Friday. The move touched off nasty recriminations from both sides and what will likely be a drawn-out legal battle.