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    Afternoon Mail! Is King Schlong Still King of the Vice Underworld?

    Blind vice group sex

    Dear Ted:
    Love, love your Blind Vices. My favorite? King Schlong. We haven't heard anything from him in a while, at least not by his Blind Vice name. I think I know his identity, and if it's who I think it is, he's my favorite actor/major crush. Please do tell, what has he been up to? Is he serious with current fling? How is he handling the aftermath of the Oscars? Is he partying hard to console himself? Also, is he a regular drug user? Also, is he concerned that the partying is diminishing his looks? I know I'm asking a lot of questions, but it's your fault, I'm addicted. Thanks for my daily gossip.
    —Jade

    Dear Smartie:
    So, you think you know who King is, eh? Not so sure about that. Otherwise, don't think you'd be going on about the aftermath of the Oscars. Jonah Hill (or George Clooney) King is not. Other than that, love-wise, he's currently as serious as he ever gets—which is not at all—and King decided a very long time ago that whatever he did to his fine body, damage-wise, would be OK with him. As long as he was able to escape the reality of T-town, even for a bit.

    Dear Ted:
    I always read your blog on my E! app on my iPhone, so I've never read the message boards. Today I was online and I decided to check them out! There are some crazy people on there! Thanks for putting up with all of the craziness surrounding celebrities. I really enjoy your juicy scoops! Keep it coming!
    —Kristen

    READ: The Hunt for King Schlong Continues!

    Dear Masochist:
    Thanks for the compliment, K, but you're telling me you voluntarily went into our message boards? I only do it because I work here and I simply must (not to mention comb the comment boards for all kinds of profane whack-ass). But I suppose if you're feeling like jumping off a cliff or something, hey, why not check out our boards!

    Dear Ted:
    I've been intrigued by Thelma Turnip since someone brought her up again. I'm wondering, has she ever dabbled in reality-TV competitions?
    —TC

    Dear Hell, Yes:
    But that's not really narrowing it down much, babe, now is it?

    Dear Ted:
    What about Teen Wolf's Tyler Hoechlin for Finnick Odair in The Hunger Games?! I think he'd be perfect for it!
    Liza

    Dear Right On:
    He's definitely buff enough. Must say, I'm really liking how A.T. readers are casting this sequel! Although gotta say completely disagree on Kristen Bell flack, who would be perfect as Johanna. Come on, just think about it for a sec (and puh-lease, ignore the hair. That's easily changed).

    Dear Ted:
    Is it true that Alex Pettyfer and Riley Keough might get married in the U.K. (if they are engaged at all)? Besides, it's convenient: He's from there and mama Lisa Marie lives there.
    Mookindahouse

    READ: Is Alex Pettyfer Really Engaged to Elvis' Granddaughter Riley Keough?!

    Dear Who Knows:
    Nobody's confirmed it, babe, even though Alex's Magic Mike costar Joe Manganiello has made it clear he's ready to throw a totally sexy bachelor party.

    But, yes, the English connection is certainly key here, since Riley's mom, Lisa Marie Presley, famously ditched L.A. for the U.K. However, I think what will turn out to be far more interesting between head-strong Alex and the Presleys is the Scientology connection. Alex doesn't strike me as the type to take heavy-handed religions on for fun or for free.

    Dear Ted:
    Just a quickie...I have Billy Bend-Over figured out. It's gotta be Ryan Gosling. White picket fence and 2.5 kids is a hint to The Notebook. Am I right? Keep up the no-cigs—this Christmas will be four years for me. It's such a better life.
    —Elizabeth

    Dear You Got That Right:
    About the cigs, not that man. Honey, Ryan Gosling? Remember, not all actors are who they play. Ryan likes ‘em female and how (and not married). Think less famous, less muscled—currently—and slightly less driven.

    Dear Ted:
    At a wonderful dinner last night with a great friend we realized we both find Hugh Jackman a damn handsome man. I'm happily married, but I was wondering, might Hugh ever be interested in my friend? She's a lovely, highly intelligent redhead with a great sense of fun. What does your insider sense tell you? One can hope.
    Stephew02

    Dear Home Cooking:
    Only that Hugh's wife—not to mention his very hands-on business partner who controls every part of Hugh's life that the wife doesn't already cover—might have a problem with your plan.

    PHOTOS: Blind Vice Superstars!

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