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Jersey Shore Recap: Battle Edition...Singles vs. Couples, The Sitch vs. The Truth

Jersey Shore, Season 5 Cast Ian Spanier Photography/MTV

Tonight's episode of Jersey Shore let us know that nothing sexual happened between Snooki and Vinny after their cutesy outing. Bummer.

Deena, Pauly D, Mike and Vinny dressed up and went to Jenk's again (the others preferred to sleep), and you won't believe who they ran into…

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Angelina! But there was no happy reunion or anything close to that, as Pauly said, they "kept it movin'." Hi Angelina, bye Angelina.

Mike and Pauly each got a girl they thought was DTF, but between a shy personality and some tampons, it didn't happen. Poor guys.

The Situation decided to be a sweet roommate by ordering in breakfast for everyone, and tipped the delivery boy a package of protein powder for a shake. Hey, he didn't have cash.

JWoww, Sammi and Deena headed to the sex shop so Jenni could prepare for her and Roger's "romantic" one-year anniversary that night, full of fake rose petals, handcuffs and things we dare not mention.

Dee was super excited to meet up with Joey at Karma, but Jenni and Sam shared that they don't know how they feel about the kid, not trying to rain on her parade, but—at least in Sammi's case—she just gets feelings (and thinks she's psychic sometimes).

Deena wasn't hearing it.

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Meanwhile, Pauly and Vin went to shoot pool and complain explain how all the couples in the house are ruining the mood and taking over the smush room, which should be reserved for singles. So once they got back home, they took the bed out. Problem solved.

Mike's sweetness seemed to stop at the chocolate chip bagels, because while on break at the Shore Store, he called his friend Unit to make sure that he showed up at Karma that night so they could finally confront Jionni about Sitch's alleged hookup with Snooki while they were together.

Except his plan got a little messed up.

First off, Jionni's whole family was at the club (kinda weird, but not the point) and he didn't want it to get that crazy, so he waited until Snooks and Jionni were by themselves. Snooki clearly knew something was up, because once she saw Unit with Mike, she convinced Jionni to leave and go back to the house.

Time for Plan B: Sitch and Unit take it to the house.

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Before we get to what went down once everyone got home, we must mention that Sam might actually be psychic. Because at Karma, Deena asked Joey if the rumors were true and he kept denying and trying to play it off. She was over it and left solo, then we saw Joey with another girl. Wow. Good move, Dee.

Back to The Situation's plan.

After continuous hurdles, Unit ended up getting so wasted that the cops (or "fuzz" as Mike calls them) arrested him on their walk back to the house!

Mission aborted, right?

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Wrong! Mike decided to tell Jionni solo, and what better moment than the morning after when it's just them two sitting outside while everyone else is still asleep?

"Yo, can I talk to you for a second?" Mike asked. "It's like, kinda, private. I'm just gonna make this, like, really quick and like, painless as possible."

We'll see how that turned out next week, but we're guessing not good.

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