Tonight's early-bird-special episode of Teen Mom was all about Mimi. Or in Farrah's case, me.
While Farrah battled her mom for caretaking privileges of baby Sophia, Maci discovered her son's paternal grandma—"Mimi"— was babysitting Bentley while his papa partied. Leah's grandparents helped too, making sure Amber didn't have to lift her quilt and get off the couch.
And if you're wondering where all good quilts go when they die, Catelynn and Tyler have the answer...
Cupcake Wars: Forget all her legal problems: What are those GIANT CATERPILLARS doing on Amber's eyes?! Maybe she's compensating for her loneliness after breaking things off with "Clin'n" and his soul patch after she getting out of "jay-oh"? No wonder the girl can't get up from the sofa—she probably can't see a thing. Still, there's nothing like baking up a fresh batch of Strep Cupcakes to get Amber on her feet and in the kitchen with her cousin Krystal (whose son Landyn, after being forced to smooch Amber's puking daughter, is no doubt sick at home with Leah's strep throat and at least one of her ear infections.)
Baby Daddy Drama: Just as Maci is finally making mature decisions like not skipping her college classes, Ryan is reverting to the irresponsible party boy we first met in 16 and Pregnant. Since he quit his job, he has plenty of time to go clubbing while his mom changes son Bentley's diapers and bathes him, feeds him and plays with him. (To be fair, she probably does all this for Ryan, too, so it can't be too much extra work on her part.) When Maci complains, "I don't know how to fix Ryan—I don't know how to deal with him," her Zingbot 3000 mom Sharon responds with yet another money quote: "You shoulda thought of that before you had his baby." Zing!
Over the River and Through the Woods: Just because Tyler briefly talked about seeing other girls doesn't mean he deserved to be punished with an Elderhostel overnight with Catelynn by the train tracks. Who needs a hot tub when you can get your sexy on with quilts, eyelet pillows and lace curtains? For our sake, we wish Catelynn's too-cool-for-school teacher Monte and stepdad Butch had been invited to join the couple on their ski getaway. Just imagine snowflakes settling gently on both men's party-in-the-back ponytails. Fail, MTV.
Baby, Breasts and Braces: Farrah's plans to move to Ft. Lauderdale and break her mother's heart continue apace, especially after she is accepted into a competitive (kidding!) culinary college. In honor of her dad's birthday, Farrah takes her parents out to dinner and announces that she booked an appointment for a family counseling session. (Happy birthday, Michael!) Dina the Judgmental Therapist is having none of the grandparents' backtalk: "You're asking a mother to leave her child!" she snipes when Debra suggests it might be better for them to take care of Sophia while Farrah focuses on her
boob jobs and braces self-actualizing. The therapist may have ruled out Debra's caretaking offer, but Farrah isn't so sure. The idea of being without Sophia is "hard on me," says the leader of the Farrah First initiative, concluding that it might be "good that I spend more time on myself, because I need that."
Coming Up: Speaking of grandparents, we have one word for next week's season finale: Butch! Will he ever meet the baby his kids' gave up for adoption? Should he? Should Sophia live with her grandparents or move with mom Farrah to Florida? Does Ryan—or his parents—deserve to have custody of Bentley?