Britney Spears has been on the receiving end of her fair share of scurrilous rumors (more than her fair share, actually). Of course, she's also been on the receiving end of her fair share of strange but true reports.
But which is this?
Earlier today, rumors circulated that one of Brit Brit's former (and very briefly employed) bodyguards had lobbed a fresh set of complaints against her, alleging that she engaged in lewd and unhygienic behavior in front of him, including that she blatantly picked her nose, refused to shower, didn't brush her teeth and, the piece de resistant, had a little (OK, a big) gas problem.
Classy! But will B.S. be calling B.S. on this latest round of reports, or is she really getting sued for failing to pop some Pepto-Bismol? Someone get a finishing school on speed dial, because this rumor is…
So true! Hard to believe, but America's foremost Cheeto-munching, barefoot-in-a-gas station-meandering popstar has indeed been accused of falling afoul of some basic hygiene practices.
Former bodyguard Fernando Flores first filed suit against Spears last fall, claiming his allegedly toxic boss sexually harassed him, used drugs in front of him and otherwise made unwanted advances.
And then there's the new claims.
In the new batch of court docs, Flores said that he believed Spears was "often under the influence of illegal prescription and non-prescription drugs, such as Ritalin, Narcon and methamphetamines."
As for her questionable behavior, he said, "She broke wind or picked her nose unselfconsciously and unapologetically before [Flores] and others and she was constantly and gratuitously loud and profane in her speech."
Profane and naked he can have—her volume and bodily functions just seem unnecessarily nitpicky (and while good for headlines, not wholly apt to include in his lawsuit).
"She did not bathe for days on end, did not use deodorant, did not brush her teeth, did not fix her hair, did not wear shoes or socks."
For allegedly being subjected to the hell of seeing his boss' bare feet (if ever a workplace injustice was worthy of being heard in a court of law, it's that…right?), he's seeking some $10 million in damages.
As for Britney, while her rep has refused to comment, Spears has fired back against the allegations, reportedly telling TMZ, "He's a liar."
Short, sweet and to the point. We like it.