Mark Salling

Courtesy Al Powers/Powers Imagery

Dear Ted:
When reading about Paulie Pecker, my mind immediately went to the cast of Glee for a suspect. We all know they are Vicetastic and the bigger names offer plenty of tabloid fodder. So is Mark Salling the restroom Romeo? If not, can you give some more clues? Is Paulie in the same age range? Congrats on keeping off the ciggies and my rescues, Winnie and Baxter, send smooches.

Dear Anti-Gleek:
The Gleeks are free of Paulie (but not free of Vices). Same age range tho. Cheers and hugs to the kids!

 Dear Ted:
What is with Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony's divorce? Is there a Blind Vice in there? Please do tell.

RELATED: Blind Vice! TV Actor Gets Hump Happy in Hotel Lobby!

Dear One of Many:
Do you know how full my inbox was today? And it was all about these ex-lovers, too. So ‘bout their Viciness: Well, they're both B.V. superstar material, but only one has had the starring role. Does that make sense? Their Vices didn't exactly push them toward love and happiness, darling.

Dear Ted:
Do you think Robert Pattinson likes that he's in your B.V. archive, as if it's nice for the truth to be out there as long as it's not out there directly? Or do you think he lives in fear of his Vices being exposed?

Dear Scaredy Cat:
His reps may live in fear, but he sure as hell doesn't! Really don't feel like he's hiding much, to tell you the truth. And trust me, hon, if he wanted his dirty deeds out there, he'd make them out there.

Dear Ted:
Kris Jenner now resembles that wrestler China! Another tale of plastic surgery gone wrong.
—L Diggin

Dear K.J. Defense:
OK, I'm shocked at myself for defending this, but the swelling has gone down from before. People always look especially absurd right after surge. Still think she looks a little "deer in the headlights," but guess that's the look K wanted.

Dear Ted:
So I'm just gonna get straight to the point: Do you think Mila Kunis and Justin Timberlake will ever get together?
—Sweet Tart

Dear Torturous Twosome:
They say they're "just friends," and then they flirt like crazy. Maybe they are friends with benefits, but J.T. and Mila have been torturing us forever now. I suspect the hotties are gonna get caught hooking up soon enough.

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