Instead let's go through the odds of what Potter creator J.K. Rowling's mysterious announcement next week might be:
I spoke to the good people at the Leaky Cauldron, a fan site that borders on the obsessive. So far, Rowling has simply said that she has something new for Potter fans coming out in about six days, and whatever it is, it appears to be called Pottermore.
So what to expect? Not another book. That's almost certain.
Instead, Leaky blogger Lizzie Keiper posits, fans are speculating about everything but a book.
"Theories include a Harry Potter encyclopedia," which, Keiper notes, is a project Rowling has been teasing since the final Potter installment debuted. "I've also heard rumors of a Harry Potter-themed social networking site."
Aside from the encyclopedia—online or paper—the idea of a PotterBook or HarrySpace does make some sense. After all, the teaser for the announcement reads, "The owls are gathering," and owls are the chosen method of long-distance communication in the wizarding community.
A less believable theory involves a new Harry Potter theme park somewhere in the United Kingdom. But given that a similar jape is already underway at Universal Orlando, Keiper notes, a second park doesn't seem all that likely.
Whatever the announcement is, fans are already slavering for news. My advice? Pour yourself a butterbeer and chill.
Now. What do you think it is?