Andrew Eccles / The CW
• Fans are freaking out that the new 90210 sucks because screeners will not be sent to the press. As if we even needed this drama to assume the show, except for all moments with Lucille Bluth, could suck. (Anyone ever seen Saved by the Bell: The New Class?) Besides, we still have Gossip Girl and The Hills, so everyone calm down.
• Lily Allen has joined the epic battle of slap game going around the pop-star circles of London. We urge all pedestrians to proceed with caution.
• David Beckham: The Musical is coming! It will feature “powerful, gospel-like rock." Sounds like a jolly good time—we're in.
• Jennifer Aniston was not impressed by John Mayer’s little speech. Yes, this will all end some day soon, we promise.
• Ellen DeGeneres and Portia De Rossi's official wedding pictures are up on People—they're like the creepy paparazzi ones we had earlier, but better quality. We expected so much more.