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Oh my God...father!

The Real Housewives of New Jersey is returning with a vengeance—literally. Its explosive premiere is not to be missed—and neither is boring psycho Danielle Staub, who was whacked from the show after last season.

Instead, season three focuses on family, especially the bad blood between Teresa Giudice and her sister-in-law and first cousin, new castmembers Melissa Gorga and Kathy Wakile.

As Kathy ominously declares about la famiglia feud:  "War has lots of casualties"...

Table/Andy Cohen-flipping Teresa is not the only one in her family to inherit a nasty temper: At his son Giuseppe's christening party, her brother Joe Gorga's alcohol-fueled fury ignites an all-out brawlculminating with Fredo Joe begging Don Vito his father for approval and affection in a wretched scene that would make Mario Puzo proud.

The Real Housewives of New Jersey premieres on Bravo Monday, May 16, with a special 90-minute extended episode.