• Tabloids have joined forces to take down the Brangelina twins by reporting that Jennifer Aniston will marry John Mayer and then birth his children. Yeah Viviknox, what do you think of that?!
• Chace Crawford sometimes feels bad for Gossip Girl being "mind-blowingly inappropriate." But then he remembers how pretty he is.
• Keira Knightley reveals the secret to her success: getting drunk prior to auditions.
• Aw man, we missed Maddox’s birthday yesterday. Did anyone remember to leave a message on his Facebook wall?
• Bored economists figure that Oprah controls exactly 1,015,519 of America's votes.
• Samantha Ronson neglecting her parking tickets finally gives us a sneak peek at the car in which she chauffeurs our darling LiLo around. The Caddy has a boot, some egging residue and a Lindsay dirt heart on it.