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DWTS, Bristol Palin, Mark Ballas

ABC/ADAM LARKEY

Now is not the time for haters to gloat about last night's Dancing With the Stars results.

No, now is the time to get all devil's advocate-y, and spell out the reasons why Bristol Palin deserved to win. (Don't worry—there'll be time to gloat later.)

With apologies to Jennifer Grey, here we go:

Counterpunch

MORE: Read our recap of DWTS' mirror-ball night

1. She wasn't so bad good!  C'mon, she was, especially considering where she started—so shy and timid in her cha-cha-cha debut, and considering where she finished—so committed and caged in her freestyle finale. 

2. Grey was a ringer! Gee, who woulda guessed that Patrick Swayze's Dirty Dancing partner was a ballroom whiz? EVERYBODY.

3. Bristol was the underdog! Gee, who woulda guessed that a single teen mom from Alaska with no prime-time experience was totally not the stiff second coming of Kate Gosselin? NOBODY.  

4. Bristol's semi-finals score in the Paso Doble was the same as Brandy's (as Bristol herself muttered on air)! So, there.

5. The Tea Party couldn't even vote on Monday night! Well, sorta. See, a rep for the DWTS production tells E! News that, due to record turnout for the finale, some viewers "reported difficulties registering their votes." All three finalists were said to be hit equally.

6. Bristol was not, is not and has never been her mother! And anybody who voted against her like she was should be refudiated.

7. Willow Palin quotes Lady Gaga! This has nothing to do with anything, but then not much of the Bristol discussion had anything to do with her or her dancing. (See above.)