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Survivor: Nicaragua

Monty Brinton/CBS

Karma is a bitch...unless you're a contestant on Survivor: Nicaragua.

Last night's double elimination proved once again that the wicked are winning while the nice guys finish last.  

Two of the season's nicest Castaways had the last word in today's exit interview. Read on to find out who they called unstable, miserable and downright mean...

Survivor: Kelly Bruno

Monty Brinton/CBS

How does Kelly Bruno feel about NaOnka's tirade against her disability? And why didn't the amputee triathlete confront the bully before she was sent home? "I was hoping for more unity within the tribe," Kelly told me,  "and not to just keep fracturing it."

When Kelly saw NaOnka's comments on TV, however, she said, "I was a little more inflamed, a little more enraged. And frustrated—I had done nothing wrong, I had never done anything personally to her. It seems so unprovoked, and yet she just had these really mean things to say about me."

Kelly does plan on confronting NaOnka eventually, but for now, she said, "I think that the fact so many people have responded so negatively to her on my behalf—that says a lot. The general perception is that she is in the wrong and what she is doing is inappropriate, and she is being a bully."

As nasty as NaOnka is, she's not the only one.

"When I got pushed down," Kelly revealed, "Brenda just smiled, and that just pissed me off. And Kelly Shinn thought it was funny! I'm thinking this is like eighth grade mean girls all over again."

And just when you thought chivalry was dead, it turns out...chivarly is dead. "It was really upsetting when Chase didn't come do anything," Kelly said. "He just sat there, and Sash just sat there. You guys are men—you'd think you'd like just do something, say something."

In the ultimately irony, when I asked her about Shannon's patronizing attitude, Kelly saw a different side of him. "I know people are saying that Shannon was patronizing and saw me as a charity case, [but] I felt very differently out there. I do feel that he actually respected me to a great extent. NaOnka, on the other hand, was extremely patronizing when she offered to carry me on her back during a challenge."

Hate! If only NaOnka would offer to carry Dan on her back.

Survivor: Yve Rojas

Monty Brinton/CBS

So why is Dan still here? Dumb luck, said Yve. "The one element that no one has absolutely any control over is luck," she said, "and he is lucky like a little weasel...How do I say this politely? I don't know why he was in the game. Dan was miserable out there. Dan did not want to be there. Dan just hated everything about Nicaragua, the game, the opportunity."

(Right backatcha, Danny Boy!)

Still, Yve accepts the blame for keeping him around.   I did not want to vote for Jimmy Johnson," Yve said (we didn't want you to either!), "but J.J. had not committed to an alliance—he would not commit to me. I was more confident that that we had Danny in our pocket for the extra vote. I did not want to see J.J. [or] Jimmy T. go as much either over Danny. I should have had more confidence and voted the way I intended, and perhaps the outcome would've been different."

Maybe there is one nice guy left: Jud. But is he really as dumb as he seems? "Unless he's a really good actor," Kelly told me, "they edited him as he really is. There was not much more productive that came out of his mouth except lots of useful knowledge about '80s bands and hairstyles. He was there for comic relief...he was good for that."

Here's hoping Survivor's evil geniuses allow us to enjoy Fabio's comic stylings for a few weeks longer.