Isn't it time for the Autumn 2010 version of things we all need to obsess about? Please tell me there are no vampires on the list.
—Cree, via the inbox
Of course there are no vampires on my latest Obsessions List, silly. Zombies are the new vampires. You're welcome. Anyway, want details—and to see what else is worth obsessing about this fall? Sure you do. The zombie apocalypse is coming, and you'll need to know how to defend yourself:
I speak of course of AMC, which will bring us a TV adaptation of Robert Kirkman's comic book The Walking Dead. That series starts on Halloween, natch.
And the march of the slack-jawed doesn't end there. We also have Resident Evil: Afterlife, in which Milla Jovovich fends off another brain-chewing horde. The newest Evil installment, which features a gigantic executioner festooned in nails, hooks and other hardware, debuts Sept. 10.
Not bloody enough? Well, there's always Dexter, who, while not a zombie, does love himself some killing. He returns Sept. 26.
Need more things to obsess about this fall? No problem:
Sexy people doing sexy things. Between Daniel Dae Kim and Grace Park on Hawaii Five-O, Maggie Q on Nikita, those new people on Undercovers, and Idris Elba doing, well, anything, fall is promising to make some sexily serious sexy time on the television.
Social media masquerading as entertainment. The Social Network, a story about the founders of Facebook, is hitting the big screen Oct. 1. $#*! My Dad Says, borne of Twitter, is a series starring William Shatner. It starts Sept. 23 on CBS. I look forward to these offerings not because they will be good; I suspect at least some suckage. No, I look forward to their bombing so that we're spared from future properties such as, say, The Very Merry Mayor of FourSquare, starring Michael Cera.
Amber makeup. I guess it's the new orange.
Watching The Situation, Bristol Palin and Audrina Patridge claw each other's fake tans off for the chance to be the next Kate Gosselin. The inevitable jockeying will go down between foxtrots on Dancing With the Stars, of course. When it comes to desperation for fame, The Situation has this one nailed, but let's not put anything past a Palin.
Animal print fashion. For the record, leopard is hotter than zebra, which is hotter than tiger. Now you know everything.
Music for people who are hip and know that fact. The Kings of Leon release their next single Sept. 14 or thereabouts. I also look forward to the latest release from Kanye West, not because of the music, but because of the onslaught of fabulously egregious Tweets that will likely go with it.
Two words: Boardwalk. Empire. Steve Buscemi? And Scorsese? And sleazy big-budget Prohibition-era shenanigans? I'm so there, starting on Sept. 19 on HBO.
What are you into?