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    Bitch-Back! Ryan Gosling Has Gone and Got All Sexy

    Ryan Gosling O'Neill/White/INFphoto.com; bauer-griffin.com

    Dear Ted:
    I used to think you were full of it, now I think you're just pathetic. When your stupid slobber stuff about Ryan Gosling got to be too much, it dawned on me that Ryan used to look like my chubby brother, Leo, who couldn't get a date, which I didn't really understand because he's sort of cute, in a doughy kind of way. So, whatever Gosling did to himself these days, gotta say I agree, but I still think you suck.
    —Loretta

    Dear Trim the Spat:
    You're right, doll, Ry's whipped himself into shape since his artsier days. And trust, I would know—I see him at the gym all the friggin' time. And boy, he looks good when he's all hot and bothered (I mean boxing, of course). Wanna hear a fun fact that made Taryn just die when she heard? Guess who doesn't always like wearing undies when he's working on his fitness. Hope Leo's doing better in the dating department!

    Dear Ted:
    Do you think Sandra Bullock and Jesse James are still secretly a couple?
    —Tanya

    Dear Southern Comfort:
    No, T, the divorce between the duo was the real deal. But Sandy is a classy lady, and as she's said before, does want Jesse in her son's life. That's why the twosome will both have homes in the same area. Cordial, yes. Romantic? Hell, no.

    Dear Ted:
    Could you please update me about Ian Somerhalder and Nina Dobrev? Since he's confessed he's no longer with his long-term girlfriend and with crewmembers of the show suggesting that he may not be alone either don't all the rumors point to them as a couple?
    —Carol

    Dear CW Candooling:
    Jeez, you Vampire Diaries fans are dying for this couple to happen. Well, I'll believe it when I see it. Actually, I probably still won't believe it.

    Dear Ted:
    I've been wondering about who has better a chance to win an Oscar one day: Selena Gomez or Miley Cyrus. What do you think? And please don't say that it's too early to say and that there is time to improve their acting skills.
    —Ella

    Dear Statue Starlettes:
    Uh, tough one, El. Right now? As much as I love both gals, I'd say neither. But I do think these two ladies can't ditch their Disney-style acting chops and become serious leading ladies. I guess we'll see.

    Dear Ted:
    Adam Brody
    just made a swipe in Kristen Stewart's direction. What's your take on his comments? Do you think he has a point? Is he being bitter? He seemed so annoyed by her. I was a little taken aback since Jesse Eisenberg, in contrast, has spoken so highly of her.
    —Nina

    Dear Brooding Brody:
    What's that saying about opinions? Whatever, it ends with everyone has one, which includes The O.C. hunk. Some folks may understand why K.Stew isn't into the paparazzi side of fame; others (who love celeb status) just don't understand the broad.

    Dear Ted:
    Is Taylena 2.0 ever going to happen? I was looking at old pics of Selena and Taylor Lautner and they were too perfect for each other to not come back for round two. They would be adorable together!
    —Joey

    Dear Ew:
    At least there was more passion there than with Taylor Swift .

    Dear Ted:
    I wanted to share the following wise words from my favorite sex advice columnist, Dan Savage. On the topic of coming out, he says: "Coming out is the single most important thing you can do to advance the cause of gay civil equality. Period. The more of us who are out to friends and family, the smaller the electoral return on the GOP's gay-bashing investment. So get out there and be honest about who you are, where you are, and who you love. Because when you do that...you leave the extreme right with fewer and fewer suckers willing to buy the hate-spiked snake oil they're selling." He also says in his podcast that if you're not out, you're not ready for a relationship or sex, and you shouldn't feel entitled to either. What do you think Toothy Tile would have to say to that?
    —Pam

    Dear Politically Erect:
    Nothing. Which is why I absolutely agree with Savage.

    Dear Ted:
    Would it be possible that a big-action movie star who was once superstraight became gay later on in life? Was wondering when I fell upon a B.V. hinting at someone of A-list stardom...
    —Rita

    Dear Getting Action:
    Sure it's possible, but the better question is: Who said the star was "superstraight" to begin with?

    Dear Ted:
    I'm curious as to what you think about a romance between Jennifer Aniston and Keanu Reeves? Hot or not? I love the idea!
    —RT

    Dear Not:
    While Keanu is laid-back enough, which works for a potential J.A. BF, I'm still rooting for the babe to land a stand-up (yet obviously sexy) man not in the spotlight. So much more suited for the gal.

    Dear Ted:
    I know that you can sometimes be playfully coy and cagey in some of your answers, but here is hoping for a straightforward answer to my one simple question: Are Toothy Tile and Grey Goose still together as a couple?
    —Isobel

    Dear Bashful Betty:
    Yes. See, that wasn't so painful, was it?

    Dear Ted:
    How does Kristen really get along with Robert Pattinson's friends, like Sam Bradley, Marcus Foster and especially Tom Sturridge? Many wonder if she's tolerated rather than liked. But I'm not so sure. Is she liked across the board with them, or do some like her better than others. Do they approve of her?
    —Rosa

    Dear Gal Pal:
    She's definitely tight with TomStu—otherwise all those friggin' rumors wouldn't have started—but she's well-liked by the whole Pattinson posse. Kris is like one of the guys when she's with them, and they like how chill she is.

    Dear Ted:
    So what's the deal with Jackie Bouffant's beard? I get wanting to remain relevant and that magazine covers are few and far between for most actresses, but come on, a girl's gotta eat! Does she have a little something on the side, or is Jackie giving her just enough to keep her happy. Where do beards go when they get "hungry"?
    —Pix

    Dear Cravings:
    Babe, don't you think a lifetime of fame is worth a little dry spell in a gal's sex life? At least, that's what Jackie's bearding babe believes. But don't worry about her libido—like most beards, her BF doesn't care whether she dabbles with other dudes so long as she keeps it way, way on the DL.


    Dear Ted:
    I've been seeing Bristol Palin and Levi Johnson everywhere, and now they are in talks to have their own reality show. Are they the new Two Who Shall Not Be Named?
    —Faye

    Dear Heck No!
    And miss a potential public freak-out by Sarah Palin? I don't think so.

    Dear Ted:
    When Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt "retire" from acting, do you think the public will still care about the family, their humanitarian issues and their opinions?
    —Lemon

    Dear Duh:
    Yes, yes and yes. People aren't just fascinated with Brad and Ange because they're on the big screen. It's their whole lifestyle that will keep people talking long after they wrap their last flick.

    Dear Ted:
    What do you think of the news that Will Smith and Tom Cruise are finally working together? And how are Katie Holmes and Jada Pinkett Smith handling the news?
    —Irena

    Dear Buddie Pic:
    They're ecstatic! That's one tight foursome, sweetheart—lots in common.

    Follow @theawfultruth on Twitter!

    _______

    There's more mail where this came from! Check out our Bitch-Back! archives.

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