Happy Fourth of July, babes! Team Awful isn't one for legal mumbo jumbo—we leave that to the lovely and hard-assed E! lawyers—but we decided to poke through a history book and celebrate Independence Day with a revamping of our founding fathers' Bill of Rights, T-town style.
Now, Benny Franklin didn't have to deal with Twi-hards, Blind Vices, and paparazzi smack-downs in those boring colonial days, so we took it upon ourselves to update all ten trusty amendments to fulfill our Awful needs.
Get ready for us to lay down the law:
First Amendment: Freedom for Megan Fox to Say Whatever the Ef She Wants
Second Amendment: Right for Sarah Palin to not bear arms...or a microphone.
Third Amendment: Protection from Nonstens and Niley haters.
Seventh Amendment: Try not acting civil—it's so much fun. Just ask Britney, Gaga, or any of the Sex and the City gals.
Ninth Amendment: Protection of Sandra Bullock from unforeseen douchebags.
Tenth Amendment: Power of beards and Vices reign supreme.
And that, dolls, was all done without a Harvard law school degree. Impressive, we know!
Now go cuddle with your gal or guy and watch the fireworks—you know that's what Robsten's doing!
Amendment #1 In Action: Megan Fox Quotes: Dumb or Awesome?