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    Bitch-Back! Was the Robsten Smooch Real?

    Robert Pattinson, Kristen Stewart Christopher Polk/Getty Images

    Dear Ted:
    Did you see when Rob dedicated his Best Male Performance to Kristen? She made a face like she was upset. He's so cute and romantic and she was so bitchy. I love her, too, but why was she so uncomfortable?
    Adri

    Dear Doesn't Buy It:
    Did you not see when they kissed? Look, babes, Robsten know exactly what they're doing. And as far as Kristen's bleh face goes, get real: That's when you know she's into you. Remember, she's not a traditional girlie girl, not in the least.

    Dear Ted:
    Thanks for your honest account of Robsten. We know they are a couple. We are glad, too. Hope they make a big splash together at the Eclipse premiere. Hope that's their showing-the-love moment for the world to see.
    Dldeyoung

    Dear Don't Count On It:
    That's about as likely as Taylor Lautner eclipsing R.Pattz's hotness factor, sorry.

    Dear Ted:
    Chace Crawford
    got arrested? Anything to do with his Vice?
    Ascofield

    Dear Where There's Smoke:
    Yes.

    Dear Ted:
    One thing I found a little strange about the MTV Movie Awards was that the kiss cam did not turn on Rob and Kristen. Do you think their publicist had a little chat with the producers or something else?
    Yaya

    Dear Robsten Student:
    Oh, yeah. There were a lotta convos regarding exactly what would—and what wouldn't—go down between Rob and Kristen. And then they did exactly what they wanted, per usual.

    Dear Ted:
    Can we please talk about how awesome both of Sandra Bullock's appearances have been? She is the ultimate in class and grace, and I am so glad to hear she's not going anywhere! She couldn't have handled what might've been an awkward situation any better!
    Bno1buturself

    Dear Tell Me About It:
    Who needs Miss Congeniality 3? Sandy's friggin' livin' it! And with far more humor and—as you mentioned—grace, than any Hollywood writer could possibly imagine.

    Dear Ted:
    My shelter-adopted pooch, Bomma, is so totally convinced Chet Chick-Muncher is Tom Sizemore. Does she get an extra treat for being right?
    —Irish

    Dear Keep Begging:
    Sorry, Irish, but you do get supersloppy licks from Charlie, Margo and Cleo! Think far more good-looking (and relevant) for the dude who likes to dabble, as it were.

    Dear Ted:
    Cruella St. Shackles
    has been lying low. Is this because she's working overtime in her personal life, sorting out her husband's lover's blackmail threats? Does her husband want to leave her?
    Vgualy

    Dear Wrong Direction:
    Cruella, our conniving, dusty diva, is indeed lying low, but it's not because she's so busy sorting out her hubby's bisexuality. It's because nobody's really that interested in hearing from her. Big diff.

    Dear Ted:
    Is Dougy Dry-Hump Matt McConaughey? I hope not.
    Sarah

    Dear Failure to Enlighten:
    Why, because he's such a dreamy, lovable star? Hardly, hon. But you're safe in regard to the stripper-loving lothario. Think just as good-looking, bur more small screen.

    Dear Ted:
    I find it odd Ashley and Kellan both weren't at the MTV Movie Awards. You know they love getting attention. Was this Summit's way of punishing them?
    Heather

    Dear Summit-Suspicious:
    Even though Ashley did have another commitment on Sunday, it's not exactly a complete secret Summit's keeping Ashley and Kellan a bit on reserve until after the Eclipse blowout has taxed their main stars to the hilt. Enter the refreshed and adorable Kel 'n' Ash!

    Dear Ted:
    Following your Bennifer2.0 comments, I couldn't help but wonder: Is Ben really that miserable? And if he is, why doesn't he just get a divorce? I get that being married to a seemingly wonderful Jennifer Garner can be good for his image, but do Hollywood couples really stay married just for the sake of publicity, even when it's making them sad? I know they've got kids, but staying together for the sake of them is not the answer.
    Plpmoichis

    Dear Concerned:
    No, Ben is not miserable. But yes, the degree to which Ben and Jennifer have stuck it out has a lot to do with their kids—it's not an unusual scenario. Frankly, I don't think anybody's more shocked than the ‘rents themselves that they've been able to hack it. But for how long?

    Dear Ted:
    Sandra Bullock seems to be making a stand for lesbians by kissing random famous women on the stage. On purpose or just a joke that keeps coming back? And I kinda expected a small comment in the direction of Katy Perry because of her songs about ScarJo's lips.
    Bastiaanroosen

    Dear Politically Curious:
    As much as I heart the totally gay-supporting Bullock, trust me, she's doing it for the laughs, first and foremost. But she's also fully aware (and to answer your second question) this is already a bit old.

    Dear Ted:
    About your response to the reader who asked why tabs are allowed to print ridiculous stories but you have to cover up your goodies. You said it was because your items are true, but in a suit for libel, truth is an absolute defense! Maybe I read your column on breaks while I'm studying for the bar exam. Anyway, I have a feeling that your secrecy has more to do with not wanting to burn bridges than it does with avoiding lawsuits.
    Selizabeth

    Dear I Object:
    I've never been afraid of burning a bridge—and I have the enemies to prove it. It's much more a case of morals, future counselor (and I know this is a dynamic your set rarely studies). If a dude or gal wants to shout they're gay, book some stoner online sex or even shoot up some fresh-cooked crack, I really believe that stuff's up to them to reveal, for the most part, at least.

    Love Ted? Follow @theawfultruth on Twitter.

    ________

    Not enough to debate over? Head to our Bitch-Back section

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