Dear Faking It:
Jude and Sienna is a complicated relaysh, but at the same time, so not complicated—confusing, huh? And now they're supposedly "in love," taking things to a newer, practically unswallowable state. Alas, the two are absolutely perfect for each other; there's just so much history and horniness between them. I'll just be surprised if it lasts.
What's Parrish Maguire been up lately, haven't heard much about him?
Parrish has been busy, busy, busy—but more so with his career than other horny hunks lately. Think he actually prefers getting noticed to getting off, quelle surprise.
Have you ever had difficulty writing a Blind Vice? Was there ever a juicy tidbit you held off on because it was difficult to mask the player(s)? Also wanted to add, if you can't adopt a furry friend, think about donating either money or time to your local shelter. There is always a need. P.S. I still think you need to visit Minneapolis to find your very own Scandinavian hunk to share your bunk.
Dear Minneapolis Matchmaker:
Too scandalous for the Awful Truth? Of course not, Kiki. There's always a way to mask the players because there are so many damn skanky folks running around H'wood it could almost be anyone! And what the hell's in Minneapolis, already?
I am moving out of my condo soon and will finally be able to rescue a puppy to take care of! I was wondering, is Secretia Ohio Claire Danes?
Dear House Hunting:
Nope, but most excellent guess. Think far less boring—at least in front of the camera—than Danes.
I'm curious as to whether or not Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson has ever been a B.V.? His name doesn't come up too often. He seems like such a nice guy and all. It would be odd to find out otherwise.
Dear Blind Ambition:
Nope, though he really should be, considering the behind-the-scenes hijinks that muscle bunny gets up to. I just like him too much.
Is Chet Chick-Muncher Mel Gibson? I know you thought him a snooze, and I don't find him doable, but otherwise, Mel seems very Chet-like. Am I right?
Dear Mel the Muncher:
No, babe, but pretty good guess. Think a bit less movie star and a far less crappy 'tude.
Is Nevis Divine Russell Brand? My apologies if you notted him. He just seems like a perfect fit to me.
Dear Not So Perfect:
Sorry, Rach, but Brand isn't the B.V. star. Nevis would never allow his antics to be as public as Russell's have been. He's got a big image (and even bigger fan base) to uphold, after all.
So sad that Crescent Kumquat would be so stupid as to have sex without a condom! I wonder if he thought you don't get stuff from powerful females, only gay guys. Are any other Blind Vices now worried they might have picked up something from him recently? Any chance C.K. and Toothy hooked up recently? Or is Toothy being faithful to Grey Goose?
Dear Safe Sex:
Totally agree. I think Cres was more worried about getting his hetero on than protecting his business. A C.K.-T2 matchup, while superhot (well, if you ignore the herp), hasn't gone down. Don't expect it to, either. Totally different conniving animals.
Since there has been all this talk about 50 Cent being gay or hetero, he will be my guess on Crescent Kumquat.
Dear That's a Rap:
50 Cent's B.V. isn't our cutie Cres. The two have certainly bumped into each other, though.
C'mon, spill! Since Jonathan Rhys Meyers has been banned from a United Airlines flight, he has to be a B.V., right?
Dear Air Marshal:
Maybe a B.V. like our hot-air hottie Buck Me-Good? You may think so, but would have to tell you no. I've always found Jonathan's case more sad than intriguing. Hope he gets better soon.