His wife has no illusions about it, either.
"I'm not saying everything's OK," Jaime Bergman tells People. "I'm still angry. I'm still mad. I am still hurt."
But like her mother, she's still hopeful that her marriage is salvageable.
"It took a crisis, it took infidelity to get us off our asses and work for what we want," she says.
"When we got married, we had an unbelievable foundation that we've never forgotten," the Bones-head admits. "But it's been damaged."
The couple, who have two children—Jaden, 8, and Bella, 8 months—wed in November 2001.
"What's working for us [is] taking our time, moment to moment, day to day," Bergman says. "We do the best we can. That's all we can do."
In the meantime, the pair are considering taking legal action against the still-unidentified ex-mistress allegedly attempting to extort them.
"They might go to court on this," a source close to Bergman tells E! News exclusively. "The attorneys don't know where it's going to go so they are telling Jaime and David not to speak out about it right now. They may be taking action against this woman."
Boreanaz's rep has not responded to request for comment.
—Additional reporting by Whitney English
(Originally published May 7, 2010, at 6:35 a.m. PT)