Judges Eat Kate for Breakfast (Club) on Dancing With the Stars

It was rough going for most of the contestants on DWTS' movie night, some more than others

As if Dancing With the Stars needed more gimmicks this season...

The eight remaining celebs hit the floor Monday to pay tribute to Hollywood and cut a rug to notable movie music.

This resulted in everything from Kate Gosselin playing prom queen to Jake Pavelka dancing in his boxers while holding a wooden spoon to Pamela Anderson's exaggerated cleavage fitting the bill for a change.

Read on to learn the rationale behind all this lunacy...

NIecy Nash and Louis van Amstel: We're sorry to say that we saw more bounce in Niecy when she did the waltz than on tonight's jive to "La Bamba" from, er, La Bamba. Her personality was bubbly as always, but there wasn't much spring in her step. And the judges didn't let her forget it. "There was plenty of bounce in your bazookas, but we wanted it down in your feet a little bit more!" exclaimed Len Goodman, whose British accent made that critique sound almost wholesome. "There was so much going on on the upper decks, it was hard to look at anything else," added Bruno Tonioli, a tad more lasciviously. "You are the shimmy queen," complimented Carrie Ann Inaba, though she, too, noted that the dance was nowhere near as precise as it should have been.
Score: 18

Chad Ochocinco & Cheryl Burke: The NFL star's posture wasn't quickstep-approved, but his energy was infectious, and the song "Bare Necessities" from The Jungle Book was kind of adorable. What we can tell you is, this guy loves dancing with Cheryl, and it shows. When Carrie told them they were "lacking body contact," Chad replied, "I'm having a ball. We're having plenty of contact, we're good." Hmmm...Overall, however, the judges were disappointed that his form regressed from last week's strong rumba.
Score: 18

Erin Andrews & Maksim Chmerkovskiy: (Side note: Maks should wear a black suit and skinny tie all the time.) Erin actually did a pretty good job channeling Uma Thurman during the famous twist contest scene in Pulp Fiction (fanning her hands in front of her face, etc.), but she remains uncontained, long limbs flying everywhere. Carrie Ann thought she was a half-beat ahead of Maks the whole way, but Bruno said he "counted all the way through" and this was her "best timing ever." Backstage, when they became the second couple in a row to be confronted about a rumored off-camera romance, Erin said it wouldn't happen "until he gives [her] a ring like Chad got Cheryl."
Score: 22

Jake Pavelka & Chelsie Hightower: In case you were wondering, Jake ditched his pants because he was dancing the cha-cha to "Old Time Rock & Roll" à la Tom Cruise in Risky Business. Fortunately, he took a few bars at the beginning to put 'em back on, or else it would have been impossible to take it seriously. Once again, he was a joy to watch, but his movements are really overstated, like he's thisclose to spinning Chelsie so aggressively she flies off the stage or snapping her neck during a dip. But Len loves that Jake comes out "100 percent," and Carrie Ann thought he had the whole package, so to speak. Bruno put it plainly, though: "You cheeky bugger, why did you put your pants on?!"
Score: 23

Pamela Anderson & Damien Whitewood: That darn house band strikes again. Musicianship aside, their version of Dolly Parton's "9 to 5" from the comedy of the same name provided Pam and Damien with the foundation for a painfully slow quickstep. Bruno and Carrie Ann stoically ignored what no one can help to praise Pam's "spot-on" characterization and her dancing in general, but Len nailed them for spending 24 bars setting up the secretarial scene.
Score: 21

Kate Gosselin & Tony Dovolani: One step forward, two steps back. A week after winning far more positive commentary than usual, Kate was back in the rehearsal room questioning Tony every step of the way. And then she proceeded to walk through the spotlight dance from a prom scene that never existed in The Breakfast Club (yeah, we're pretty sure Tony confused it with Pretty in Pink). Carrie Ann detected an "itty-bitty bit" of grace developing, but Len called her fox-trot more of a stroll than a dance, and Bruno said that everything "has gone right back to the beginning" after last week's modicum of improvement. "Darling, I think Tony could have had more life out of a frock and a coat hanger," he said.
Score: 15

Nicole Scherzinger & Derek Hough: "Pretty Woman" might be one of the lamest tango songs ever, but they made it work. Derek was a good little boy this week, keeping Nicole in hold throughout, and these two looked like a couple of pros compared to some of what came before. Len called it "the best dance of the season so far." Bruno nearly blew a gasket as he grabbed at Len's lapels. "Two players at the top of the game...walking the fine line between love and hate, bursting with sexual tension!" he exclaimed. "Every moment, you could have taken a snapshot and it would have just been art," Carrie Ann said.
Score: 29 (No one has figured out yet who you have to kill to get a 10 from Len this season.)

Evan Lysacek & Anna Trebunskaya: Rumba choreography kinda looks like figure-skating choreography, doesn't it? Evan was gliding all over the place, hitting glorious line after line in their routine to "I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing" from Armageddon. (We must have gone to the bathroom during the dance sequence...) Anyway, we've loved Evan since minute one, and tonight's performance did nothing to change that. Any criticism, Bruno said, would be like "picking at a diamond," but he did note a slight loss of fluidity between the skater's upper and lower halves at times. "The movement was generating the emotion, which was so beautiful," applauded Carrie Ann.
Score: 27

So Kate Gosselin got stuck with the lowest score and crummiest outfit yet again—but will it make any difference? Someone will be eliminated Tuesday and, based on how things have been playing out, we're predicting it's going to be Niecy.

Feel free to argue in the comments section.

In the meantime, here's the rundown of tonight's leaderboard:

Nicole & Derek: 29
Evan & Anna: 27
Jake & Chelsie: 23
Erin & Maks: 22
Pam & Damien: 21
Chad & Cheryl: 18
Niecy & Louis: 18
Kate & Tony: 15