Say, did we mention it's April Fools' Day?
Yes, the world's most dangerous day to read something on the World Wide Internets is here again. Lucky for you, we've sorted through the apparent hoaxes, assorted hijinks and "lady lump" goofs:
• A No. 1 album, the adoration of tweens everywhere and really manageable hair is not enough for the young Mr. Bieber. That's the basic idea behind today's "relaunch" of Funny or Die, sorry, Bieber or Die. The URL hasn't changed, but Bieber has.
"I do what stars do," the pop star says in the "Bieber Takes Over" clip. "I ride on yachts. I autograph lady lumps. And I pay people to slap them."
If the 'tude, the cheesy wallpaper and "Dramatic Bieber" aren't big enough tip offs to an April Fools' operation, then Bieber's tweets are. "World's Largest Comedy site??? April 1st???," goes an especially unsubtle wink-wink, nudge-nudge one.
The guy may be able to sing, but he can't keep a secret.
Not one of these items, of course, comes from Summit, which, we remind, hasn't announced anything regarding its plans for the final tale in the Twilight saga.
Our advice: Don't get too excited or upset about any Breaking Dawn stories datelined April 1.
• Did you hear about Simon Cowell, Randy Jackson and Paula Abdul strutting their stuff on So You Think You Can Dance? They'll be three of the revamped show's "all-star partners," per judge and executive producer Nigel Lythgoe's Twitter page, which was last updated—uh-oh—today.
Even Fox didn't know if Lythgoe was serious. But the exec finally came clean: He wasn't, which is too bad, because Lythgoe made Cowell sound as if the man would cut quite the rug.
Tweeted Lythgoe: "He may be leaving "Idol" but he's joining the "All-Stars" before his wedding, representing the genres of Wacking and Vogueing- SIMON COWELL."
• Twitter is pretty much the headquarters for April Fools' pranks. Witness Joel McHale's "hacking" of Ryan Seacrest: "I've taken over Ryan's Twitter and his treehouse. Anyone know how to bake cookies?"
Now, we suppose it's possible McHale really did gain unauthorized access to the page, but we don't suppose, as alleged, Seacrest's password really is "thirdnipple." (Now maybe "thirdjob," or something like that…)
• As you and Brooke Burke's mother may know by now, the Dancing With the Stars cohost is not pregnant with her fifth child, contrary to a report this morning on RadarOnline.com. The link to the story doesn't work anymore; we've left messages with the site to see whether it was goofing, or if it was goofed. But one thing's clear: Burke and David Charvet are not going to be parenting a basketball team in the immediate future.
"I am not preggers....," tweeted (but of course) Burke, noting in another message, "The joke was over when my MOM called me at my office to ask if I am Pregnant! The answer is a big Fat NO! David wishes....."
• If you read the PopSugar story about Jennifer Aniston confirming a romance with Gerard Butler, then make sure you read all the way through the confirmation from Aniston's rep, and keep going straight to the bottom: "APRIL FOOLS!!!!!!!!"
"As much as we'd love it if Jennifer released any kind of statement about her personal life, sadly the world will be left to speculate without any confirmation as to her romantic status with Gerard Butler," the site said.
• News today that Carnie Wilson is fine, and did not collapse on the set of her game show, The Newlywed Game, is not a hoax, but rather an answer to dire-sounding reports that surfaced in the wake of a March 18 incident on the set. (So you know, Wilson briefly felt lightheaded, and that, according to the Game Show Network, was that.)
(Originally published April 1, 2010, at 10:46 a.m. PT)
It didn't even take an April 1 for online hoaxsters to declare the passing of certain stars. Check out our Celebrity Death Hoaxes gallery!